concerning this.

before i lose this train of thought,

2012-01-10T01:44:00.001+08:00

i think i ought to put it down in black and white.

Philippians 4: 6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present

your requests to God. And the peace of God, which

transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts

and minds in Christ Jesus.

He has the most curious of ways of making Himself known.

We were at this boutique waiting for our turn to try on some clothes at the fitting room area. I glanced around and I spotted a sticker pasted at the corner of one of the doors with the above verse. The whole room just lit up and I felt that familiar sense of serenity that comes every time I am deep in worship and prayer. And all at the same time, I was hoping with all hopes that her eyes would chance upon it as well for something had been bothering her the last couple of days and I thought that she really could use those words of comfort then. Of course I could tell her about it myself but I think sometimes, you need to find it on your own . . . you need that touch of serendipity, which makes it feel real . . .

I learned that it is not something that can be inherited anymore.
You need to seek and understand for yourself.

. . . and out of the corner of my eye, I saw where hers fell and I smiled.

*oh yeah, i've reopened my blog . . . after an 11month hiatus (!)
let's see how long this will last.

xx

keri smith said this in his blog on the 17th;

2011-01-19T01:40:00.000+08:00

"Today I want to be an animal and run wildly in and out of the woods, stopping only to take a drink and the occasional nap."

i feel the same way :)

(see here)

i'm actually working on my c.v.

2011-01-08T01:03:00.000+08:00

but i heard this conversation going on in the living room and had to laugh out loud:

Mum: Did you hang the clothes?
Dad: Yeah, while you were sleeping.

Okay, I dunno if it makes sense to you. Prolly doesn't; but if you've been living with my family long enough, you'd understand the way things work with the Khoo's :p

oh, and i was the one who's supposed to help out with the hanging; hee, sorry D! x)and David Garett is a musical genius. Clair de lune ohsonice :)

am reading Into The Wild now. Chris McCandless i have so much respect for you. reminds me of thomas wilson and the bay of naples.

wants to have lots and lots of mamak food :))) who wants to join me? :D

kevjumba is really good at what he does. i like the vids he did with his dad :) .. i like how they laugh together like old friends x)

switchfoot's yet is playing now. thankyou playlist, for behaving like a good playlist should.

i wanna see ross' magic tricks! i wanna kantoi-kan him again lol.

miss jeanetta is reallyreally nice and cute. i was stamping my certs (fully concentrated on making sure that i stamp them correctly cause there was a special stamp for certified true copy and another separate one for the translated certs, speaking of which was sucha pain i tell you i have never done anything so tedious since, *thinks* , hmm nvm) when she took out this bottle of lotion from her drawer and exclaimed how it was so dry and asked me if i wanted some :p .. then she said how she would like to have a fountain in her room if it were larger LOL x) .. and when i handed her my pendrive to print something, she said the yellow tortoise keychain looks so cute and then proceeded to tell me about these pair of handphone decorations which she got from watsons which costed her 4.90 so that makes it abt 2.50 each and she takes them out from that magical drawer of hers and shows it to me and i saw winnie the pooh smiling at me. i then said, "oh, that's nice, you can give it away as a Christmas present :)" and she said yeah. and why am i writing such a detailed account of this i do not know.

i do know however that i love all my lecturers. thank you miss tan and miss salina for giving me such awesome recommendation letters :))) .. let's have a reunion makan one day. and let it be at bestari please so i can feast my eyes nose mouth on their delectable selection of mamak food. yessum.

i think i will need glasses soon. no thanks to staring at mr computer screen for hours on end for so many consecutive days.

apparently cousin sweejin will be preparing a lovely dinner at my uncle's place tmr but i will not be there sigh. i will instead be at a bbq gathering at a mr kentheman1's hse :D .. so i told my mum, can they postpone it to sunday haha just being a brat like that although i know perfectly well things like that do not happen as i am merely shawnee. a while later she turned up in my room with my uncle on the line and i was told to speak what i had in mind x) .. i thought she was kidding :p .. my uncle said he will come back to us again hehe.

and now coldplay is asking me to talk. ah, it is no wonder i can't stop writing :)

well, i think i've got a lot of things on my mind because i have not been talking to anyone properly for days now so my head is filled with all these little thoughts. and because my outlet is all the way in nottingham. haha yes, my brother, my outlet. i would usually pour out these nonsensical things to him now and then when he was still home. but now, i have to settle for these electronic things. and it doesn't give feedbacks. no "hahaha" or "lame lah you" or "canyouplsshutupandgobacktoyourroom". haha, okay, scratch the shut up bit. my brother has never told me to shut up before :) <3

omgosh, john legend is playing now EEEE. yes we are all ordinary people. i love you today, playlist. but only today : )

ohkay my dad just came in to tell me how to improve this letter of mine. time to go back to work :)

lotsa love to all of you :)

soooo

2011-01-06T18:29:00.001+08:00

i have just deleted my old xanga :p

out of shame, i would say? to think, i wrote all those stuff.

i was one heck of a hormonally-charged teenager who could throw a hissy fit alright. tsk tsk.

and would prolly leave blogspot in search of "greener pastures" as well :p

lotsa love!

okay ask yourselves this:

2011-01-05T23:13:00.001+08:00

do you actually take the effort to make an impression on people you've only met for the first time?

or do you just be yourself, like in the raw? a slob like no other.

it's already the 5th of january! o

2011-01-05T23:07:00.001+08:00

augh the last post was so . . . distasteful. i feel so much better now though :) .. it's always good to vent your frustration, whether on pen and paper, verbally, or whatnots.
okay, and but maybe i won't stop trying. cause everyone deserves a second chance, right?

see. yea. i don't know why i just can't stay mad at people. well, i just don't like the whole tension between us thing. just doesn't feel right.

but we'll see about that. who knows, one day. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

on another note, i have successfully digitalised all my certs!!! well, by digitalised, i merely mean, scanning them certs into my computer. it was crazymemafankan but hey, now i've got soft copies of them which is goooood :D

i actually do not know why i have tags for my posts. all of them are filled with random jazz sometimes i do not even know how to tag them.

orite, pictures from hanoi in the upcoming posts :)

xx

to a certain someone

2011-01-05T22:06:00.001+08:00

hey, in case you didn't realise, i've always been the one who stood by your side throughout that period of time.

people would say you're one hard person to deal with.
they ask me why am i even friends with you.
how can i possibly stand you.

but i'd say, well, everyone's different right? i'd stand up for you okay. cause to me; every. one. matters. and i hold strongly to that. cause every one deserves to be loved. everyone deserves to be cared for.

and i cannot believe you said all that just because i told you i can't do it.

i'm really busy now okay. it's not like you're less important. but i've been wanting this so incredibly badly and i really need to focus on this right now. so, this comes first. it is, what i'll be doing for the next couple of years afterall. i thought you'd understand.

i thought i could change those people's perception of you. i thought i could turn you into someone whom people would love being around. i thought xxx had it wrong about you. i told them i could change you for the better. i really convinced myself into thinking i really could. especially at that one point when i asked you to come follow me every sunday and you considered the idea but it was just that you might have transport problems. but after all you said, i don't think i wanna try anymore. i feel like i'm just fighting for a lost cause here. i didn't think i was gonna say this, but i guess they were right all along.

sigh.

oh happy day

2011-01-03T01:20:00.001+08:00

i wish i got to know someone a little better . . . then again, i wish i got to know a lot of people a little better . . . like, to be more than just nodding acquaintances?

facebook has turned me into a lean, mean, stalking machine. well, scratch the lean part. i've been as lethargic as lethargic can be. ugh.

would love to see orcas in real life one day :)

realise i do not like to cross roads alone. can be pretty frightening at times.

i hunger and thirst for you, Lord.

have you ever witnessed a miracle?

wants to go to san francisco again in the future. i love the winding roads :)

will have to stuff myself with lots of thosai in the days to come. and cheese naan. and roti canai. and nasi lemak and OMGOSH pan mee!!! and currypuffs :D

CNY is on its way.

disliked how some places were already blasting CNY songs and it had only been a day past Christmas. what is this. *tak puas* .. give Christmas a chance please.

i got a green clear file holder thing and just filled it with my certs :D *feels organised*

xx

oh man

2010-12-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

feels like i'm having some sort of hangover.

not that i actually know what that's like

but from what i've heard, sounds like i'm having one right now

*massive headache*

never thought of it that way, but oh yeah x)

2010-12-30T01:29:00.007+08:00

kumer says (1:26 AM):

2015
we'll see a shawnee capable of doing drugs...legally
=)

*

Natasha says (1:16 AM):
so you have a date with your university XD
no offer letters yet xD
I think curtin's next week?
the letters I mean

i'm impossible! says (1:19 AM):
ooh i ady had the date xD
it was naise : )
ooh curtin;s yea..i got an email from them saying the rep will be in the coll nxt week i tink?

Natasha says (1:20 AM):
date as in valentine's day date
xD

i'm impossible! says (1:20 AM):
OWHH
LOOL
YAHHH
how romantic~
x)

Natasha says (1:20 AM):
xD
the start of a long relationship
xD

i'm impossible! says (1:21 AM):
yessum : )
i like how our first date will be on v-day :D
ehehehe :3

too bad it's only gonna last for 4 years :p

i'm glad i helped :)

2010-12-27T22:57:00.000+08:00

http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/Home/

and then You come around

2010-12-14T02:07:00.000+08:00

and bring everything back into perspective.

you are truly, an awesome God :)

it feels like i've come to a

2010-12-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

i really could use somebody to tell me i am being very stupid right now.

okay, time to make mum angry.

xx

and then there are those

2010-12-12T23:23:00.001+08:00

who don't really mingle with some people just cause they're not good-looking enough.
or not smart enough.

or not knowledgeable enough.
or not rich enough.
or can't speak their type of English.

tell me, what kind of bullsh is this?

oh i know your type. it's all about "networking" in your world. rubbing shoulders and all that.

well, if that's all you ever think about, then i pity who you are. sure, you may tower above the masses in some terms but morally, ethically, you are like the rotting carcasses in the desert. i loathe you, with every fiber of my being.

2010-12-11T00:34:00.001+08:00

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - Marcel Proust.

that could be me. once upon a time ;p

gets me everytime : )

2010-12-11T00:18:00.002+08:00

retrieved from: *here*

Allie: You’re different.
Noah: What do you mean?
Allie: Just the way you look. Everything.
Noah: You look different too, but in a good way.
Allie: You know, you’re kinda the same though.
Noah: Yeah?
Allie: Yeah. And you really did it.
Noah: What?
Allie: Everything. The house. it’s beautiful what you did.
Noah: Well, I promised you I would.

The Notebook.loveeethemovie :3

from the lobby :D

2010-11-29T16:14:00.000+08:00

just went to makan at this place
and when we wanted to foot the bill, we checked the stuff lah mcam biasa like we always do, just to make sure before we pay, like how much is for what and so on ..

then the waiter was like, "are you from malaysia?"

us: yea, how'd you know!

waiter: because only the malaysians will check and recheck the bill

LMAO! x)

and then, when we were on the way back to the hotel, we saw this man riding a motorcycle with his kid (about 3-4 years old) at the back clutching on to him (oh, btw, the people here HONK like nobody's business! but it's funny in a way xD) .. and so our taxi driver actually winded down the car window and told the man to take care of his son lest he falls off :s

so sweet of him ya? :)

also, people here eat dog meat x.x

o holy night, the stars are brightly shiiiining :D

2010-11-29T02:16:00.000+08:00

so like, my mum's friend's supposed to be picking us up at 3.30am

it is now 2.o3am.

yeeaah i knew this would happen.

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

2010-11-28T16:53:00.002+08:00

"it is the East, and Juliet is the sun."

*

i think everyone would have that little ray of sunshine that was everything to them at some point in their life. but these rays of light only shine upon your path for only a brief moment. like the setting of the sun. because for that brief moment, you could see where you were going. you knew where you were headed. it illuminated the path that you would take. not unlike how a torch would guide you in a cave or a tunnel. it only shows a little distance from where you are. not the entire way ahead.

and yet, it made all the difference.

that ray of sunshine is probably what made them the who that they are today.
it is what moulded them into the person that they would become.

okay, let's start packingggg! :D

2010-11-27T14:33:00.000+08:00

mum: what medicine should we bring along ah?

sn: the usual lah, flu, sorethroat, panadol ...

dad: bring the one for food poisoning

x)

so if you know me well enough,

2010-11-26T23:50:00.009+08:00

you'll know that when something nice happens or when an interesting thought comes to mind, i like writing it out in a text message and i'd save it in the drafts folder in my phone so i can always look back and smile about it.

so these are among the things i had saved a few months ago:
Went to the "Placement Centaur" with Tasha today cause she wanted to enquire about the University of Toronto. The pictures were just b-e-a-utiful :) .. "It's like HOGWARTS", Natasha said, as we were perusing the brochures. "And this could be the Astronomy Tower *points*" :D

St. George's Campus, University of Toronto

I LOVE PLACES LIKE THAT. OLD MEDIEVAL BUILDINGS, CHURCH, CATHEDRALS ...

was looking through the pictures jijian took in cambridge. gorgeoussss
what do they call it, gothic architecture, renaissance architecture?

Taken from here. This is the Milan Cathedral of Lombardy, Italy. (Duomo di Milano in Italian) Isn't it magnificentttt :D It took 5 centuries to complete, that's 500 years!

Pretty :)

*

We were doing our work when Jenny pointed out these two guys hitting the floor in one of the empty IB classrooms. We could only see from their knees and below cause above that, the glass enclosing the class was not transparent. They were some awesome moves really. Shuffling and breakdancing >D. You know, I'm not much good at a lot of things but I can tell you, that I am one who knows how to appreciate the arts. Dance, ballet, piano, guitar, violin, plays, theatre ... I just loveeee all that :)

MPO, anyone? :D

and it all culminates in this

2010-11-25T23:45:00.007+08:00

once upon time there was a girl.

one day, for the first time in her life, she was terrified after she found out someone had been stalking her.

every few hours a day, the phone would ring.
she'd pick it up and upon hearing the same voice, "Hello?", she'd put the receiver back down without a word.

it went on for a week or two.

and then one day, when the phone rang once again, she told her mother that she was afraid of answering it and told her to do so instead.

her mother answered and politely said, "oh? she doesn't really want to talk to you cause she doesn't quite know you" or something along those lines.

a pause.

and she said, "alright, okay, bye" and then she hung up.

meanwhile, her daughter had been behind her, listening nervously the whole time, shifting her weight from one foot to another.

the mother turned to her and said, "you must've been giggling a lot in class i should think."

and the girl said, "no, i most certainly was not."

the mother replied, "well then, why else would someone you do not know decide to call you up all of a sudden."
the girl said nothing further but retreated to her room and pondered about what had just happened.
since that very fateful incident, the girl became rather afraid of the Y chromosome.

notwithstanding the fact that she has a brother.

from that day onwards, the girl found herself unable to talk to those with the said chromosome.

she was, if you will, shy.

of course, there were a handful of those of whom she had been able to converse with more often than others. there were a selected few of whom she was closer compared to others.

and yet the fear still lingered.

then she graduated from high school and moved on to another school where she would be part of a group of friends who like to refer themselves as the fresh water dogs or fwd, in short. this girl was the fictitious drummer of a fictitious band which had fans who screamed fwd or "chao sui kou" and waved posters and signs of fried water dogs made of polystyrene.
at the beginning, she was still rather afraid of the XY's. it didn't help that her pre-university place of study was a teeming sea of population of XY's. the XX were a minority this time round. they were like little black spots of Artline pens on the vast whiteness of paper or whiteboard.

as the days went by though, the girl somehow lost a little bit of that unusual fear of hers with each passing day. slowly, but surely, she regains her confidence.

by the end of her pre-university days, she would be completely void of this fear of hers.

*

It’s funny how you get thrusted into the strangest of situations and you had never even saw it coming your way. I enrolled in SAM with the sole aim of just doing it right this time. I didn’t want much of a social life. In fact, I specifically remembered telling a friend that I would be an anti-social throughout the whole course. Some things just don’t go according to plan.

Somewhere along the way, I became friends with 3 awesome guys. One of them whom I had been acquainted to before, but I guess I probably only got to know him better throughout the past 8 months. I got along rather well with the 3 of them; well, better than any of the others in class I guess? Most of my classmates were in cliques who preferred conversing in Mandarin and Cantonese and obviously, I fail in that department. Though, I think I’ve picked up quite a lot of Mandarin along the way (Thanks to WernWern and the two Pui’s :D). And so, there began a friendship between 3 guys and a girl (see, I’m admitting I’m a girl now! Ahem, inside joke with the 3 of them :p). It’s weird, because I’ve always been closer with the girls all my life. Save kindergarten, it had been like that all the way from primary school up till Form 6. Yeah, funny in a way, considering I have no biological sisters but only the best big brother ever! :D. And these 3 guys have all only got brothers and NO SISTERS as well. It gets funnier. Kennet is the eldest among his 3 brothers and, Jenny’s the middle among his 3 brothers and Karthik is the youngest among his 3 brothers.

Naturally, as we go our separate ways, we wouldn’t be as close as we used to be. I don’t know about you, but it’s fairly normal for me actually. People come and people go. But we leave our footsteps behind. And sure, we will still be friends. We’ll still be able to talk. But just not as often as we used to of course. We’re The Brudders! :) and we always will be.

Karthik, if you’re reading this, please don’t emo. That goes for you too, Jenny. The 2 of them have the largest capacity for getting all worked up about stuff like this. Kennet and I would be the ones standing by saying, “Ala, it’s okay wan lah. We’ll still keep in touch mah.”

And you have my word on that :)

(note: btw, there's more to the stalker story than just that as i had written. that's the summarised version :p and it may not sound like a big deal but back then it was a rather perplexing matter for a 13 year old lol. and! there was another guy actually. who i am pretty sure hates me to the ends of the earth now cause i responded in a less than polite manner when he had asked for my number haha. that's all ;p)

d o g s! =3

2010-11-25T20:38:00.004+08:00

When I was small (okay if I were given a penny for each time I begin like this, I'd be rich .. but let's not get to that) .. so everytime my parents decided to go grocery-shopping, the first place I'd head over to was always the Pet's area. I'd be fascinated by the toy bones or whatever they're called for dogs to chew on, the various types of dog chow, the shampoos and whatnots. And after doing a quick scan, I'd make a mental note that okay that's the leash or collar I would get if I had a dog. And it would be called Rusty or Ruffles or Rustyruff :D

And it was the same with bookstores. My Mum even got me these two books on dogs and I would take them out and look at them over and over again. Ofcourse, the Collies (cause of Lassie haha), Rottweilers, Great Danes (Scooby Doo :D), Golden Retrievers, Labradors, Dobermans, Salukis and King Charles Spaniels were the ones I had always dreamed of having :p

Also, everytime we passed by a house with a "Beware of dog" sign, I'd point it out to my Dad and then approach the gate and attempt to get a peek at the supposed dog.

I still remember, there was this one time my parents took us to this pet shop. And the owners had this black and white Papillon. French for butterfly, cause of the hair around the ears I still recall. We were SO close to getting one. But alas, a dog was not to be had.

'Tis a papillon! :D

Oh, and! There was this another time when my Mum saw this picture of a mixed-breed doggie in the Malay Mail. They have this section in the Kid's Column or something where they would advertise dogs from the SPCA and PAWS every Sunday so if people are interested, they can actually head over to the shelter and adopt them. So my Mum saw it and thought it looked really adorable. We called the SPCA up and just as well, someone else had already rang up and adopted it :(

If any of you really do want to get a pet, I would like to kindly ask of you to get them from shelter homes. It's the least we can do to help them out ya know. (well, in Malaysia especially :S)

to everything that was :)

2010-11-24T02:18:00.001+08:00

Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life with you
Long, long live the walls we crashed through
All the candlelight shined just for me and you
And I was screaming, "long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders
I'm not afraid
Singing long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life
Fighting dragons with you
And long, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day we will be remembered

(Taylor Swift's Long Liveeeee)

idon'tcarewhatchoosayilovetayswift

:)

can someone please tell me who is the dude who said no to sharkfins soup on that natgeo commercial? he's a 10 fo sho :D

2010-11-23T22:28:00.002+08:00

i always like to have gingerbread man around this time of the year. it's something of a tradition for me. and i would always think of the gingerbread man story whenever i bite into it. today, i went to cold storage looking for it cause they always have pretty decent ones. i wouldn't say they're the best cause it's not all that good. i am still on a quest to hunt for the best damn gingebread man. and if you do know of any, then feel free to share it with me :D

so, i've been having moral studies for the past week. and initially, i was really bummed about having to attend classes after our finals were over. and these are LAN moral lessons we're talking about. and after hearing so many of my friends who've been through these classes at their respective colleges and universities (it was nightmares for them), i thought, hmm, just as well. and then i attended my first moral lesson last tuesday and it was nothing close to being a nightmare. i absolutely enjoyed every minute of it. and come to think of it, religion is a very interesting topic indeed. miss renuga, you're such an inspiration. you don't call them autistic children; rather autism children, she had said. her passion's for children with special needs and she's currently doing her masters in UM in something (i forgotten :p) related to it. i've said it once and i'll say it again, teachers who incorporate life lessons in their classrooms are truly superheroes. ah, if every teacher in the world were like that. and i have to agree with what Lao-Tzu had to say too;

"Stop thinking, and end your problems."
spot on.

i want to read tao-te-ching! :)

also, the scorpion story,

The Nature of Things

Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell in. The monk saved the scorpion and was again stung.
The other monk asked him, "Friend, why do you continue to save the scorpion when you know it's nature is to sting?"

"Because," the monk replied, "to save it is my nature."

and today, she played the emperor's club in class! :D we were getting to the best part but had to leave halfway thru. i will write about it once i've seen the whole thing.

(oh! oh! tammy wynette's stand by your man is playing now WHEEEE :D)

haha anyways,

the other day, while we were all waiting in the lobby, ross (THE MAGICIAN!!! :D) performed this simple card trick of his. it just involved the four aces and we were supposed to choose one of it and he'd be able to identify the one we had chosen. so it worked on sonam and jenny and then i told him to try it on me. and i totally pwned him. i was being downright brash about it cause it was the first time i'd seen him not managing to pull it off. and then he tried a second time and i got him again. i *think* i figured out the trick behind it t'is why :p .. so i kept prancing around, squealing with delight, along with the others that he'd failed (felt pretty bad about it afterward). then comes this guy (who knows ross) who had been watching all along and he quoted thomas edison, saying it's not a failure, it's just 2 ways that don't work. and i felt silly after that. all in good fun though, we certainly never meant any form of insult whatsoever to our dear ross (WE LOVE YOU ROSS :D). he's our friendly college magician and the only magician i know :D

we helped decorate kennet's christmas tree the other day. it's crazy tall! and just as crazy loads of decorations. and all that lights. and he has a wreath for his front door too! how nice no? :D and his golden retriever's a darl <3 and i helped myself to a whole lotta nuggets that day too! i can't rmb the last time i had nuggets like those, so i kept going at it, it was so goooodd

did i mention i just loveeeeeeee this time of the year??? :)))

xx

how can one not be moved

2010-11-17T01:52:00.001+08:00

watching yasmin ahmad's tv commercials.

why.

and the tears just keep coming.

can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken!

2010-10-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

haha, train ftw! : )

the world would be a better place without mirrors.

i just spent the last half an hour reading a couple of old stuff from my sent folder. and to sum it all up: wow. i've grown alright :p

i think solitary diners are kinda sad in a way.

augie nieto's got it right. it's not the breaths you take; rather how you breathe.

not the destination, but the journey.

not how long, but the routes you take.
so you say it eventhough it kills you cause it's a lie that sets you free.

if words break you, use them as firewood and let them burnnnnn

i suck at statisticsss

okay gtg

lovelovechusss :)

when all that's left is You : )

2010-10-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

miss tan: and that is why when you all sit for your finals, i won't wish you good luck. i will wish you all the best because it depends on how well you perform to the best of your abilities, not on your luck.

nope, never luck, only You Lord : )

*

the sound of dogs barking somehow has a way of making me feel braver (especially when i'm all alone at home like this). these days, the slightest sound, from the rustle of leaves (haha, okay maybe not to that extent lah :p) to my neighbour handling the kuali, or rats in the roof O.o can literally send chills down my spine. if i do hear some funny sounds, i have to like scan the entire house and make sure there isn't any suspicious characters around before i can concentrate on my work again. ish. dmn burglars.

*

Sonam was right about us wanting this so badly cause it's like a once in a lifetime thing.
i've never wanted anything this bad ><

music of the moment: take that's brand new song, the flood! :D (yay for robbie williams! <3) and also, quietdrive's time after time nyeheheh

xx

i just had

2010-10-23T23:17:00.000+08:00

5 pieces of chocolate chip cookies (Ko, it's your fav all-butter chunky ones from M&S :D) . i feel good, and yet bad at the same time :p
there's only one piece left now. oh noes :(

because sometimes, you just gotta hear it from the person's mouth, even though you a l r e a d y know it.

because eventhough you do, you don't. because it's wrong in every sense of the word.

the trouble with nicknames is that they stickwithyoufortherestofyourlife. and under any normal circumstances you wouldn't be bothered by it at all but after all that's been said and done, you just want it to go off. so okay, after awhile it does slowly fade away into a flickering ember. but it doesn't get extinguished completely, no. you thought it did, but no. cause it comes back to you one day in the most curious of ways, and it really makes you wonder . . .

you know that feeling you get when you receive a text. you wonder if the sender is who you think it is, or who you want it to be for that matter. you see that first initial and for that brief moment you get all [insert vangelis - chariots of fire theme :p] .. but as the name scrolls over, it's followed by some other letter and you're like duush.

and on the radar: COLLEGE LIFE IS COMING TO AN END. bummerrr

xoxox, i love You : )

my breakfast staple = cereal + milk

2010-10-21T23:12:00.015+08:00

but as i opened the fridge door to grab the usual farmhouse this morning, i saw 2 cartons of highcalciumlowfat lol

and i couldn't help but smile : )

and now i can't stop :p

hello! i

2010-10-04T23:46:00.002+08:00

listened to sooooo many classical music on natasha's phone today : )
there's nothing like a little dose of mozart and bach to lift your spirits (especially after getting our bio results boo x.x)

karthik, kennet and jenny are my brudders <3. but if you were to put us in a group to study together . . . let's just say, things will get out of control :p

an answer to a question i will never be asked: because i dmn tak tau buat :D because i am like a locked room in a tall tower.

i think i had always been this sort of person: "i am in misery and there ain't nobody who can comfort me. oh boohoo, woe is me. oh i am so pathetic and lousy."
but i think i can safely say that now, i am: "when i'm feeling sad, i stop being sad; carpe diem and i be awesome |D .. " thank you barney! x) (note: this is still subjected to change :p)

i don't know why, but i feel like a flamingo now. no, scratch that. an ostrich morelike :p

songs that i have to have in my phone: mariah carey and whitney houston's "when you believe" and also, dashboard confessional's "stolen" :DDD

Pasto David spoke about butterflies and angels that day. (i absolutely lovelovelove butterflies!) .. and i really do pray that those miners trapped underground in Chile would be able to get out soon!

kennet's answer in the essay section of our bio paper made my day. "so, what do you think is the reason behind this?" .. karthik was like "DEI, YOU GOT TIME TO WRITE LIKE THIS SUMMORE AH?" xD

sometimes, i wish i were a rockstar. and no, being the fictional drummer of a fictional band with made-up fans screaming "FWD!!! FWD!!!" is not nearly enough of course :p hehe

B.o.B.'s "magic" song is purelove! how can one not start moving to it when it comes on :D "i've got the magic in me, everytime i touch that track it turns into gold~" |D

"take my dreams, come and give them wings. Lord, with You, there's nothing i can't do"

xx

just cause love is in the air~ : )

2010-10-02T22:37:00.002+08:00

(kenny and jien ni~ <3) [edit] hee, and this is also for two very special people which i just found out about :)))))) [/edit]
and uh, because i would be better off appreciating them words than writing my own :p lol

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4

"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible -- it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could."
- Angelis, Barbara De

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.” — William Shakespeare

“The sound of your heart
is a tiny orchestra
playing just for me.”
- Tyler Knott Gregson

“For letting me in,
for sharing your life with me,
I owe you the world.”
- Tyler Knott Gregson

“I listen to her heartbeat because it plays my favorite song.” — Lil’ Wayne “Crying Out Remix”

these are just some of the quotes from my collection lol. i know i am so gonna regret posting this the next time i log in but i'm doing it anyway. i can totally see you, you and you laughing your heads off if you were to read this :p. never knew i had this side to me eh? not such a MAN afterall huh. hahaha, oh and yea, so i guess this answers your question as well, ZhiZhi. you don't know about my blog but in case you do stumble upon it one day in the future and if you do come across this post, you'll know what i'm talking about lah :p

L O V E is a many splendid thing. LOVE.

: )

Kenny & Jien Ni's Wedding / The Night Reception :D

2010-10-02T18:09:00.007+08:00

gorgeous night with gorgeous people.
dinner was lovely.
i loved the solemnisations!
missed sweejin's, but lili's was hilarious. i never knew that about kenny! x)
yeeyee's slideshow was really touching, the mother-to-a-son song was just apt. i couldn't help getting all teary-eyed :')
the yam-sengs were fun, our table was making the most noise as usual :p
didn't get as much booze as we did on the eve but it's not like i drink much anyway :p
mmm, sucha wonderful occasion :)))

and of course, my ultimate favourite wedding song: shania twain's "from this moment" :)))

to the happy couple, i wish you lovely lovely days always in the land down under :D
God bless and i love yousss :)))

Kenny & Jien Ni's Wedding / Behind the Scenes: Door Gift in the Making :p

2010-10-02T18:04:00.003+08:00

mmhmmyea, we had to take pictures of this x)
it was one of the highlights too haha
some were opening the little boxes, some were unwrapping the boxes of ferrero rochers (no it was not an easy task if i do say so myself, it certainly took quite an effort in peeling off those sticky tapes :p), some were putting in the chocolates into the little boxes and some were closing them and packing them back into the big box
the bamboo design was yeeyee's idea, pretty ain't it? ;)

the family sure does make a great production team alright! :D

Kenny & Jien Ni's Wedding / The Morning Reception :D

2010-10-02T14:58:00.014+08:00

Ah weddings~
don'tcha just love 'em :)))
i think this wedding was extra special and meaningful to each and everyone of us
for the cousins, our very first cousin in the Chong family is getting married :D
and it's our deardear KENNY!!! the cousin who had always been cheekiest among the lot of us when we were younger (note young-er :p .. we are still young!) ..
he was the one who came up with all those "murder in the dark" games that we would have in his room after our reunion dinner every Chinese New Year back when we were all still small enough to hide in closets and underneath tables :p
he was the one who let Trifle and Kruger (God bless them, hope you two are doing good in doggyheaven ;D) out and set them loose on the other little cousins back when we were afraid of getting drool all over us :p
he was the one who was daring enough to lie down flat, FACEDOWN on the glass floor of the CN tower back in 1996 (we were like what, 342 metres above the ground!) *_* (yes, kenny, we still have concrete proof for this, along with those other antics of yours during that family trip, my dad's still keeping the videos and my mum has the photographs kept somewhere xD)
and i still remember the time when i asked him how come i couldn't access webmail.tm.net.my to login to my dad's streamyx email account on the Internet and he showed me that all i did was just forgot to click something (being blur ol' me) and then he asked "so, do you feel upgraded now" (which btw, i didn't think was an insult or anything of the sort of course, but when i used that same phrase on a friend who had also been "blur" and had forgotten to do something, she totally took it the wrong way and was taken aback by my supposed caustic remark :p)
and hence, i will never forget that phrase xD

lol, i realise all the memories i have of you, kenny, are that of you being just plain mischievous :p .. well, you wouldn't be kenny if you're not and we all love you soso much for that : )

and another thing, i think the relatively large age gap between us prolly accounted for the fact that we seldom spoke when we growing up over the years but that's pretty cool in a way, you know why? it's because the very few times that we did speak, the very few times that we did interact, they are things that i am somehow still able to remember very vividly indeed : )

like there was one time when i was raving about island in the sun and i said "oh, this song rocks!" and you said "wow, i can't remember the last time i said that word"

and also, i believe you're the first person to bring some russell peters stand-up comedy into the lives of us cousins, when you showed us that episode on "beating your children" x)

and the list could go on

oh, and thanks Kenny, for introducing me to Jien Ni that way: "And this is Shawnee, the cousin who told me to hurry up and get married so she can get another dress" :p

more pics to come! :D

Think: Unchained Melody, From This Moment, Endless Love~

2010-10-02T11:50:00.008+08:00

(the pretty door gift we helped with! there's ferrero rochers inside :p)

i couldn't possibly put it one word

but if i could pick a song to describe the wedding, i'd pick that song Samuel Bisson did for that "Nuit Blanche" slow-mo vid :)))

congratulations kenny and jien ni :)))

lotsa lovelovelove
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

But above all, this.

2010-09-30T01:30:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord,

Please take care of my family and friends and keep them safe from harm wherever they go.

*

P.s. Google has an adorable 50th Anniversary tribute to Flinstones thing on its homepage now go see! :D

Psalm 56:3

2010-09-29T12:07:00.009+08:00

Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.

I will not fear.

I will not be afraid.

Knowing You are always by my side.
the burglars may have stolen my daily bread among lotsa other things [ RAWR! >:(((( ] but

THEY WILL NOT TAKE MY FAITH AWAY.

But for this, I have Jesus.

2010-09-27T16:14:00.000+08:00

Over Skype with my brother,

SN: Everyday, we come home wondering if the house is okay. Mum says we're "living in fear" now.
Bro: That's not living anymore.

haha, i guess not . . .

traumatised

2010-09-26T22:22:00.001+08:00

dmn i'm having that feeling again . . .
it happened in my uncle's place though
but things really got stolen this time
AUGH this is scary
i wish there were more people staying with me.
:S

random picture of the moment:

2010-09-07T14:51:00.000+08:00

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

we loves you muchos!!!

2010-09-03T19:25:00.000+08:00

so i saw my deardear math teacher wearing this hairtie with a pretty little flower on it

shawnee: teacher, you have a flower in your hair :D
miss sharina: oh! yea, it grew overnight :D

and she absolutely dislikes it whenever any of us starts swearing (Kenny!!!)

miss sharina: your class likes to use the F-word, i have another class, they like using the P-word

LOL
and this was today:

*everyone buat bising as usual*

miss sharina: shhh ...

few seconds later, bising again

miss sharina: shhh, guys can you keep it down

and again few seconds later

miss sharina: do you all want to see me angry? this is my angry face. (and it was so not her angry face x) .. it was like biasa only you know xD .. oh, miss sharina, you are the best!)

and then, the vicious cycle continued again, but this time she had this to say:

miss sharina: apparently, i have a problem with expressing my anger. controlling the class.
everyone: teacher, you're fine the way you are......
kennet: no, teacher, you don't have a problem! i feel so.............CONTROLLED!~
miss sharina: okay, now i feel much better

xDDD

i love you miss sharina! and you do not have problems controlling the class. honestly! we all love you just the way you are :)))

phone conversations

2010-08-28T15:53:00.001+08:00

no matter how brief, never fail to leave something of an impression on you. it could be something that person said (which could be something totally unrelated to you but leaves you pondering about it later on when you hang up); it could be something you said which you never really gave much thought about until you tell it to someone else (happens to me all the time: especially when i give advice to people over the phone which i never took to listen myself but when i do tell it to someone else, you get all, "wow, i didn't know i were good at this", adn then it rings in your head for awhile). there is just something about talking to someone on the phone. maybe it's because when you're on the phone, your senses are completely devoted to hearing that person's voice. every slight and single change in the tone or intonation of his/her voice is noted. it's like a walk in the forest lol.

there comes a time in our life when we have crossed that border you know, like somehow, in some obscure way, we simply grow up. and then when you have, you tend to be a sharp observer of those who have yet to. and it irks you to some point to see someone else still not acting his or her age. and you want to tell him or her to grow up and stop being such a child. but at the end of the day, you know, it is not for you to tell them but it is only when they go through it themselves that they are able to fully comprehend what it means like to actually be more mature (been there and done that :p). for if you were to tell him or her to stop acting like a child, then it is likely for this person to grow up a bitter individual with no sense of identity of any sort. no, it would not be healthy for him or her at all. henceforth, you should never tell one of how he or she should behave but just wait and behold the transformation for yourself. this process can be likened to a fruit ripening. sure, you may spray it with some ethylene or whatever hormones you have available to speed up the ripening process but the fruit would not turn out as good as if it were to ripen naturally and of its own accord, no?

oh yes, and i wanted to blog about this. uncle lim and auntie daisy came to visit before my dear brother left the other day and uncle lim shared a couple of things which got me thinking if i should reconsider that decision of mine. at the end of the day, there are some who may not adjust well with the environment overseas (by environment, i don't mean the weather and food alone :p). and what he said was really true, of how birds of a weather would flock together. i think if my friends were to leave after studying there, i would be much inclined to follow suit as well for i wouldn't want to be alone on my own. i wouldn't know how to be alone on my own over there. and as he said, malaysians would always go the extra mile to help a stranger in need, this much i'm sure we are all quite aware of and for this, i am proud to be one.

see, i do love my country what. i love the traffic jams and the "on the way"s we use when we're not actually ON THE WAY. i love the holidays during our multi-cultural festivals. owh, and i absolutely lovelovelove the ramadhan bazaar which happens every year without fail during the Puasa month outside my housing area. the kuih-muihs are MARVELLOSO (currypuffs!!!)

with all that said, happy (be-early) merdeka day to all my fellow malaysians! here's to 53 years of freedom :)

i like listening to songs of languages

2010-08-24T23:44:00.003+08:00

i don't understand a word to. no, it is not the least bit odd. you should try it out for yourself. it. works. wonders. :)

hana is leaving on the 28th says sam. we should go out jalan-jalan before she flies back to the states says she. i'm sorry dear, tis a busy week for me ><

wernwern's brother has also just left to bangalore in india to further his studies. i guess me and her are very much alike in that way now (heehee) *we've got each other wernnieee!* : )))

today was a pretty interesting day. someone told me a lot about something which i was pretty annoyed about at first as well; but which went away after i told myself to just accept things for what they are. He made it simple: love one another. but when this person brought it up to me again (not in ones or twos but in an unending stream, stories and stories kept pouring in) . . . i felt so bad to be sitting there listening to it. all of which i totally regretted hearing thereafter. but, if you really did, if you had already overcome all that annoyance, then what someone says about it shouldn't change your views about it anymore, yes? YES. because all that matters is WHAT YOU BELIEVE. not something someone had just told you. not something someone had just incepted/planted into your head. stand up for what you think is right and don't let someone's thoughts about it poison your own perception of it.

shawnee khoo, you shall not be affected.

yes, i will not be affected.

always remind yourself, before you start spreading one: is it something nice about the person? or this: when Mahatma Gandhi was asked, "How do you know if the next act that you are about to do is the right one or the wrong one?" he said, "Consider the face of the poorest, most vulnerable human being that you ever chanced upon, and ask yourself if the act that you contemplate will be of benefit to that person. And if it will be, it's the right thing to do. And if not, rethink it." (from this video)

gossip is bad for you, honey.

bottom line: love one another~

and then there were 3 :(

2010-08-24T03:01:00.002+08:00

who's gonna layan all my nonsense???
who's gonna tell me "aiyah, nevermind wan lah" when bad/absolutely embarassing things happen to me???
who's gonna camwhore with meeeeeeee =((((((
who's gonna tell me my shoes don't match my baju???
WHO'S GONNA BE MY "SACRIFICIAL METAL" FOR THE MOSQUITOES TO FEED ON??? (haha yes, mosquitoes would rather his blood than mine .. unless he is not there, then only will they pick on me :p)
who's gonna be texting me nonsense???
who am i gonna text nonsense to??? =(((((
who is there to show off my amateur-ish photo-opping skills to???
who is gonna wake me up to study if i decide to "nap for a short while"??
who is gonna buy ice-cream for me at McD's??? =((((((((((((

i am NOT gonna miss the mess you make in the toilet each time you're done using it xP
i am gonna miss the "mamak" sessions
i am gonna miss your lame jokes
i am gonna miss your con-man crap
i am gonna miss you telling me how much of a guy i am
i am gonna miss asking you wash my plate for me
i am gonna miss you asking me to press the magic button! (LMAO!)
i am gonna miss you and your disgusting habits

: (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

to everything there is always a first time.
this will be the first time my brother will be going away for more than a week and will not be coming back home for many many months : (((

and so we left the airport.

and on the way back, *bzz* New message from Auntie Irene *bzz* She asked if I were sad, and if my dad or I had cried :p

Ah yes, the empty nest syndrome (ahem, partially-empty nest syndrome if i rephrase that :p). Well, my mum would have gotten teary-eyed if she had not tagged along my brother . . . I'll admit, I was seriously blue about my brother leaving. Yes, Ko, if you're reading this x). It's only natural to feel sad about someone going off somewhere and not coming back for a long period of time. When my friends first left to further their studies, I was reduced to this blob of emo-ness as well. And so what more, my dear dear brother~
so when we got home and when i went upstairs,
i paused in front of his room and i stared. and i thought. well, this is really it you know. then i switched on his room lights and i walked in and i surveyed the room. it was (relatively) spotless for the first time in many years. his bed was made (i can't remember the last time he actually made his bed, so that was really quite a feat :p). his desk was clear of all the clutter that had been only days ago. every book was neatly arranged on the shelves. loose papers that once lay scattered across the desk had been carefully filed into their respective folders. and then i opened his drawers. messy. and his wardrobe. neat. the pile of clothes that were once jumbled up at the bottom had been reduced to a mere short stack. and on his dressing table, his lidded mug along with a rusty Man U watch that he probably decided not to bring at the very last minute. then i walked to the door and peered behind it. and i saw that only a couple of belts remained.

well, this is really it.

we all grow up one day. we had taken our baby steps. we had learned to fly. and when our day comes, we will take off.

may the skies take you to places of many splendid things, Ko. and may you attain maximum displacement and achieve great things at this angle of your life (Kennet, 2010 :p).

God bless you always Ko~

iloveyoumucho!!! *HUGS*

-from your one and only sister <3-

just cause Déjà vus are weird like that

2010-08-17T22:46:00.000+08:00

i was doing this dominance matrix exercise and had this oddly familiar feeling i had done it before.

but it was this incredibly strong feeling, not the usual vague, somewhere-there, can-barely-make-out sort. it was as though i had in fact actually done it before.

heh yeah, just thought i'd write about it cause it's been a while since i last experienced a deja vu and so this made it an especially defining moment at this point in time.

no i guess i am not wired properly. yes, i am weird too : )

loveyouss~

somewhere in between.

2010-08-16T00:01:00.005+08:00

laptops 101 with my dad yesterday was fun! :D .. the whole purpose of his new toy's to take on a new approach to drawing and designing all those buildings . . . with some designing software thang where you can actually view wtv you've drawn in 3-D and so on .. awesome stuff >D (i can't wait to see them! 8D)

Pastor David spoke of some really interezting things today. so are you choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic or sanguine? :) .. wine, grapejuice or (although i hope not) vinegar? xD .. oh! and i thought what he said about his wife was sooooo sweeeet =3 "i've always told her, she always makes clothes look beautiful"~ (AWW RIGHT? :p)

so the 14th of August marked the day VI was founded (not sure how many years ago, but i think it was somewhere around the 1870's?)
and i texted "Hello beloveds! Happy Belated VI Founder's Day! XOXO :D" to a couple of ppls

to which they replied:

Who cares lol (well, typical of him, i didn't actually expect a reply anyway :p)

Wow. Last thing i'd expect from you.. (forgive me for making it sound like i absolutely abhorred my 1 and a half years there .. for zat iz not compleetely true. things would not have been the same without all of you of course :D)

I love you my chocolate chip muffin x (i love you like cheese too!!! nyumnyum :9)

haha okay, so i don't hate vi all that much. i mean, i, WE had our share of good times. awesome times. and one day, we'll all look back and LAUGH, that much i am certain of. we would laugh at the times we panjat-ed the wall (you're not a true vic if you've never climbed over THE WALL) .. and i am so proud of myself for i actually did it in my baju kurung some time in uppersix when i HAD to get out during school hours (read: the teacher was absent!) cause i had to meet up with esther (who decided not to come on the day before our math test) to collect my notebook! :p .. and oh goodness, those SAM POST-MORTEMS (the last one was awful! i don't regret the decision i made though. i'm glad i took the fall for those juniors, despite having to have to face all the nasty comments :p) .. and then there were the DEADLINES. oh yes, the very mention of it could strike fear and terror in the hearts of us VEB-ians and SAMs. meet the deadline for so and so or feel the wrath. and of course, dear Miss JS who gave my perception of Physics a 180 degrees turn. I love Physics now all thanks to her. oh! and Miss JK who had so many words of wisdom to share with us. and i thought those were really meaningful lessons you know. she's actually our MUET teacher but most of the time, she would be talking to us about things we ought to know in LIFE and how many teachers do you know who actually incorporate such things in their classes? and also! she used to be a CHESS PLAYER (something which my friends then concluded that being a chess player must closely be associated to being blur .. lol, yea, go figure :p) .. and all that aside, of course, the best part of vi were the people. nothing compares to the friends i made. nothing compares to the things i learned. we really were a mad bunch, weren't we? (i kinda regretted not recording more of all those moments we had though). mr linggam was right about the friends that you make in form6 : ) .. and i will always hold on dearly to those times we had together for they were not just mere memories. they were not just something we did back when we were 18/19. no, these are memories that will evoke some sort of emotion every time you look back and think about them. these are memories etched in time that will always have a special place in my heart and that well, you will hold on to dearly forever [oh, sappy ol' me :')]

this picture i took during our point and shoot in lowersix is not doing the clocktower any justice at all. it would look uber majestic with jijian's/shuynherng's/soonchiat's DSLR :p

thank you God! i love you so much! :)))

2010-08-14T00:08:00.001+08:00

music is medicine to the soul

as
beauty is to the beast?

teeheehee

sometimes i wish i had a pensieve

2010-08-12T20:02:00.001+08:00

an outlet of some sort you know where i can pour out my deepest thoughts and never have to think about . . .

some people can be just so immatureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ok fine, admittedly, i guess i was like that once upon a time but i didn't take things so seriously thennnn ._.

AUGHHHHHHHHH

sheeshk. youuuuu shallllll nottt bringggg meee downnnnn. i will just have to channel all these into positive energy! :)

that aside, i would just like to point out how listening to someone's voice or reading someone's message (yea, i do save smses and go back and read them sometimes when i'm down there :p) or looking at a certain someone's picture can somehow just make it all better~

i don't know you, but i want to, all the more for that : )

could not have agreed more to this

2010-08-07T12:34:00.001+08:00

If we (,said you,) take men only as they are, we make them worse. If we treat them as for what they should be, we bring them to where they can be brought.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, deutscher Dichter (1749 - 1832); Source: Title "Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre" VIII, 4

"Its true that there are no facts or objective evidence, because meaning is inherently subjective. I cannot tell you the right answers, because what's right for me will not necessarily be right for you. The best authoritarian figures, parents, teachers, educators, and ministers know this, and provide guidance while also encouraging us to explore and seek out our own understanding, rather than simply supplying an answer and expecting us to blindly conform to their beliefs.
It is through the struggle to find our own sense of direction and the acknowledgment of our own ignorance that we find true meaning. Part of that meaning is the understanding that the fulfilling journey is one that is completely personal and subjective, but at the same time inherently connected to everything surrounding us."
(Tiffany Schroeder)

"The onus is on the individual to find true meaning for his or herself, difficult though that is.

I think the empirical way is the right path to follow."

double whammy

2010-08-02T00:24:00.007+08:00

just as i was still reeling from all the excitement from inception

and then this . . . OMGGUH

me needs to shake this off

or maybe, this is all just a dream and all i need is that good "kick" to escape from it :p (inception was just awesomeeee)

point to note: my brother is a bad bad host -_-

Photo: Warner Bros.

it really makes you wonder, no?

and yes esther, movies like these (like deja vu ;D) any day over bride wars or p.s. i love you :p

i was singing Negaraku to myself in class today

2010-07-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

when i stopped at rakyat hidup. and then ________ . . .
Natasha: you forgot our national anthem??

i always believe that the best way to teach someone right from wrong is by making one feel bad about doing something (works like a charm, almost all the time ;p)

interesting how some things you never thought you'd be capable of doing can come so naturally now.

it's incredibly annoying how some guys tend to stereotype girls to be technologically-challenged. like i need to be guy to know what RAM stands for. honey, which century are you from again?

you've got to take yourself seriously if you expect other people to take you seriously.

i believe there's a peter pan in every one of us.

some things cannot be said too often. lest they should lose their meaning.

one man's meat is another's poison. but that which could then also be another's meat, yes? : )

i could sing of Your love forever~

you have taught me the art of thinking positively and for that i am eternally grateful, my friend : )

"never underestimate the value of one soul."

tell me what you want to hearrrrrr

2010-07-23T00:33:00.004+08:00

rolemodel got 3rd place!!! and now i can't stop smiling :))))))))))))))))) .. me needs to start running from now on :p (*SEMANGAT*)

it's like a boomerang. you throw it. it comes back. and that's when you know it's really what it is ;D

sorceror's apprentice!!! that physics nerddddd hehehe .. the Tesla coils scene with them in the cage and "Secrets" playing was my favourite :DDD

Film Frame (Teresa Palmer, Jay Baruchel) of The Sorcerer's Apprentice. © 2009 Disney Enterprises, Inc. and Jerry Bruckheimer, Inc. All rights reserved.

<3333333333333333333333333333333

hello,

2010-07-11T20:43:00.001+08:00

i was going to post something about there being a programme that can automatically translate your thoughts (like whatever you think) into actual words on the computer, that will one day be invented .. seeing it will be of much benefit to people like me, for my thoughts can be incredibly volatile. it's always when i'm in the shower when they'll come flowing into my head and i'll tell myself, "oh yes, you shall write about this, shawnee" .. but somewhere in between as i turn on the computer and log in, it all goes poof.

but!
i am clearly a katak di bawah tempurung, for such a thing has already been invented (or atleast, are in their early stages of development) ^^;; ahem.

see: http://discovermagazine.com/2008/oct/26-rise-of-the-cyborgs/article_view?b_start:int=2&-C=

the idea behind it is not unlike the device that stephen hawking has. his is activated by physical movement.sms of the moment: lol babe i use the pen u gave me for stpm and i think of u~ <3

on another note, i went to a bookstore in amcorp mall yesterday and I CAME OUT ONE HAPPEH CAMPER. i have so many books to read now, i can't wait till novemberrrr :DDD
and i got you something, nick! (hahaha, yea, on the day u're going back to newzies :p)

nuuuuu. is bad. but how can one resist white choc macademiaaa. someone needs to start exercising again.

my brother showed me this Zits comic in the star yesterday and i thought that was really clever of them x) .. nothing like a dose of jeremy and pickles(!!!) and insanity streak and, oh the whole comics section to brighten your day :)

YOU ARE MARVELLOUS.
xoxoxoxo

it would be nice to own one though :)

2010-07-11T19:44:00.000+08:00

We were on the way home in the car, when we heard this really loud monotonous drone. I thought it was coming from our car's engine or something but then it sounded again and my Dad found it was actually coming from a vuvuzela that someone was blowing in the car behind us :p

I heard China's thinking of mass-producing it now? O.o

double post just because

2010-07-04T02:43:00.003+08:00

i have a lot of things on my mind.

like those words she spoke, "why not you put your bags down in the meantime?" (awwww)

like that most beautiful creature i saw (chinese-englishhhhhhh :p)

like that cat which looked so much like Garfield (if i had only brought my camera with me!)

and how faber castell is no longer selling that pen which i lovelovelove so much (nuuu)

and how i absolutely missssssssssssssssssssss you, you and you soso terribly terribly much

and how i want to ask miss koh about organic food NOW! (oh it irks me so)

and how 3 months just flew by like that but i guess that's really awesome in a way because that would mean the next 4 would go by in a breeze too (i just need to do it right this time!)

and how i am gonna miss annoying (or being annoyed for that matter) my brother when he leaves
: (((((((((((((((

and how the olive oil spaghetti i had for dinner was soso goodddd

and how, oh nevermind ...
random dialogue(?) of the day:

mum: shawnee, you know who anot? the one from winter sonata, the one who wanted to kiss her wan . . .
i: O.o?
bro: oh yea, park yong-ha
i: huh, what happened??
bro: he comitted suicide ...
i: HUH, why?
bro: he was depressed .. *elaborates on*
i: omg ><
mum: i'm also having depression
i: aiyo, no la, urs is not depression .. u're just frustrated
bro: yea, it's called mid-life crisis

:p

anyhoosies, CON-AIR is ON AGAIN HEEHEEHEE (hummingbirdddd .. nicholas cageeeee)
AND, it's a sunday tomorrow! happy first day of the week :D

xx

a little selflessness goes a long way.

2010-07-04T02:19:00.001+08:00

we went back to the condo today; and it's been so long since my last trip there so naturally, i had that all-too-familiar feeling of nostalgia again. the view from the balcony's different now. there was a lot of construction going on the last time i looked out from the glass doors but now, a swimming pool has taken its place, and if you were to shift your eyes and look below, you will find an interesting garden maze grown out of bushes : )

but all that aside, the "highlight" of our return there was when we were leaving the carpark. there was that regular system where you're supposed to tap the card on the sensor thing before you're allowed to go through. my mum did exactly that but the bar still remained. now, over on the opposite side, another car was facing the similar problem, judging from the long queue of cars behind it. but upon seeing us, this guy from that car actually came over to help US. so he taps HIS card on the sensor and there you go, bar goes up.

how awesome is that.

thank you again, kind sir!

it takes a thief

2010-06-26T16:35:00.000+08:00

it was all yours for the taking

and to think i actually thought you would HAHA

but i've locked it up now. safe. sheltered. where noone can get to it :p

YAY

i am happy.

: )))

THIS IS JUST

2010-06-13T20:06:00.003+08:00

BULLSHIT

and if you still don't get it, then watch please:

Learn more at MarsCandyKills.com.

Sign the petition: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/StopPlansForAnimalTestingMalaysia?page=1

i've always found

2010-03-27T22:58:00.002+08:00

small sepet eyes reallyreally b-e-a-utiful : ))))

it's funny how

2010-03-13T02:53:00.001+08:00

some things that have never quite came remotely close to meaning a thing to you before can wander into your life again, in the most peculiar of ways and then leave a trail/print, an impact so significant that you are inclined to believe that surely, this is not just pure coincidence.

i was reading thru quote-book.tumblr.com when i came across this:

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

—	Eleanor Roosevelt and i thought, hey i'm pretty sure i've read that somewhere before. ... This picture was taken from Pn. Vas's room.

And there was once when we were discussing something which I seem to have forgotten now .. but all I remember was that just as I was about to leave her room, she said "Shawnee ..." and then she pointed at this quote on her notice board.

Looking back, I guess it makes more sense now than it did back then.

Hmm.

oh surprise surprise

2010-03-12T03:13:00.001+08:00

and when they find that you don't have no packets of tissue with you, you get this:

"but you're a girl! you're supposed to carry tissue around wherever you go!"

oh really since when hmmmmmm

it never ends . . .

:p

hi, i am shawnee the hedgehog.

2010-03-10T13:01:00.000+08:00

and when i got home, before i said Amen, asking God if He can play it again~

expectation(s)

2010-03-08T04:15:00.006+08:00

is a word i wish i had never heard of.
it's probably one of those greatest misfortunes to have ever befell mankind.
i guess it's true what they say, it being the root of all heartache.
sigh.
oh enough already shawnee khoo!

on a happier note, i lovelovelove my new "dare" notebook :D
it's got the 2 great things i look for in an ideal notebook haha
1. it's limegreen
2. it has very nice and smooth and brilliant white, LINE-LESS paper :D

just the way i like it : )))
thank you santa and santarina :p

ooh,
was browsing thru vi.sualize.us
and i stumbled upon:
http://vi.sualize.us/view/shawnee/1868bf29a384b126b1a1f3b1162a41d3/

haha, yesssssssssss, ROAR BABY ROAR

and this:

I must tell you that I should really like to think there’s something wrong with me. Because, if there isn’t, then there’s something wrong with the world itself - and that’s much more frightening! That would be terrible. So, I’d rather believe there is something wrong with me, that could be put right.
— T.S. Eliot

:p

"if you wanna rock, i'm ready to rolllllllllll"

*thinks inspiring thoughts*

BE AWESOME, PEOPLE.

2010-03-03T16:26:00.000+08:00

Feels like I've been here forever,

Why can't you just intervene?
Do you see the tears keep falling?
And I'm falling apart at the seams.

But you never said the road would be easy,
But you said that you would never leave.
And you never promised that this life wasn't hard,
But you promised you'd take care of me.

So I'll stop searching for the answers,
I'll stop praying for an escape,
And I'll trust you, God, with where I am,
And believe that you will have your way.
Just have your way.
Just have your way.

When my friends and my family have left me,
And I feel so ashamed and so cold.
Remind me that you take broken things
And turn them into beautiful.

So I'll stop searching for the answers,

I'll stop praying for an escape,

And I'll trust you, God, with where I am,
And believe that you'll have your way.
Just have your way.
Just have your way.

Even if my dreams have died,
And even if I don't survive,
I'll still worship you with all my life.
My life.

And I'll stop searching for the answers,
I'll stop praying for an escape,
And I'll trust you, God, with where I am,
And believe that you will have your way.
Just have your way.

Just have your way.

I know you will.

I won't forget.

You love me.

Have your way~

RAWR DAMNIT RAWR

2010-03-03T03:43:00.000+08:00

"No one ever won a chess game by betting on each move. Sometimes you have to move backward to get a step forward." - Amar Gopal Bose

also,

2010-02-28T03:49:00.003+08:00

'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

Isaiah 41:10

Thank you Father Lord!

I

2010-02-28T03:10:00.003+08:00

am following G to church tomorrow! :D

... hmm, here's to a brand new start (again)? hopefully? *fingers crossed*

"... who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own ..."

sigh, it's hard.
but i'll try.

i love you~

sigh, when will the questions stop coming?

2010-02-27T18:10:00.000+08:00

Camera + Yee Yee's house compound + Nice sunny day + Nothing better to do = THIS :D

2010-02-21T03:50:00.016+08:00

CNY 2010 at a glance : )

2010-02-21T00:08:00.081+08:00

This is Brody! :D
Auntie Irene took him in one day when she found out that he's actually blind ><
The poor thing keeps bumping into things ><

Dropped by at Auntie Amy's place in Penang (for the first time in many many years!)
Her laksa sure packs a punch! ;D

GOTTA LOVE 'EM :p

JO LYNNNNN :DDDD *KISSKISSSAYANG* ehehe

korean bbq on the 1st day :D
and this is the "MEN" table (or the CARNIVORES) cause they kept on going for the meat only x)

12 years younger than me (the youngest "Horse" in the family) and she loves CHEESE too! HAHAHA YAYYYYY :D :D :D

Fish on the second day

Red wine is good4u :D

Yee Sang!

and back to YeeYee's place ..
sigh, so few cousins this year : (
i miss the "kids table" .. "murder in the dark" and all that other "kids only" stuffs ...
: (

PANAS TAPI CANTIK

tin gai (sp?) ... bullfrog! xD
Poh Poh thought it was chicken and only found out they were frogs afterward hehe x)

LOBSTER WAHAHAHA

shien and i prefer the japanese-style yee sang ;D

mmhmm~

:D

just found out something

2010-02-19T14:42:00.001+08:00

and am freaking outttttttttttt ><

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

but shall not think about it

yet.

arghhhh

65% done!

2010-02-13T00:00:00.002+08:00

- ~~curtains~~
- ~~windows~~
- ~~ceiling~~
- ~~cookies!~~
- toilet
- floor
- front porch

and Auntie Irene just texted me:

juzt back fr Giant. ur ice-creams r in d fridge.

AHAHAHAHAH. awesome possumzzz.

i like CNY. always have.

minus the scrutinizing eyes of aunties/uncles during the reunions and when they say things like "wah, you've put on some weight ah" and "thunder thighs" and of course, always the "so what're you doing now?" (i honestly wish they'd omit asking that this time round cause i really am having trouble answering that for myself)

but otherwise. it's the year of the TIGER, baby.

so, ROAR.

HAPPY CHYNEESE NEW YEAR, ALL! : )))

the other day, my bro and i were having a conversation about something and he had this to say to me:

2010-02-12T16:39:00.002+08:00

"you're such a rock. nothing excites you."

*rollseyes*

WHAT THE HELL

2010-02-10T23:36:00.000+08:00

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/2/10/nation/5646393&sec=nation

IT'S THE YEAR OF THE TIGER SUMMORE OKAY

BAD KARMA I TELL YOU

SHIT WEI

WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING

...

POOR TIGER T.T

I

2010-02-10T23:01:00.001+08:00

am supposed to be working on the video on our trip to Sabah last year (hav to show during CNY nuuuu)

but.

i am on a mass tagging spree on FB

BWAHAHAHAH

backdated photos ;D

key features/analysis/synthesis OH WTH .. this is about seeing kris allen IN DETAIL haha :D :D :D

2010-02-09T21:39:00.173+08:00

and so it happened like this.

it was esther's 20th birthday the day before yesterday (yup, she hit the big two-oh haha wooooo) and we were on the phone chatting about the surprise at tony roma's that the gang had in store for her during her break that day and the additional birthday treat at her house later that night with pet, ch and mr. nh/cy ;p. they were there till 2.30 i think cause that was when she rang me up and told me they just left her house lols.

she said, and i quote, "last night was amazing" (LOL *runs away*)

but yeah, so anyways, we were on the phone till 3.30ish talking about 1874102945709 things under the sun. funny how one topic can so easily lead to another and another and so on. and right before we hung up, we ran through a mental checklist on the stuff we were gonna bring with us for the following day. and, the time we were gonna reach midvalley was initially planned to be at 8am or earlier. we were dmn worried about how ppl might be camping outside mv at that time (which happened to be true, we found out later: the first girl in line, whose boyfriend actually camped overnight).

ohkay, so be there at 8am or earlier. right. but here we were still, up, on the phone at 3.30am. hahaha.

"eh, make sure you call me first thing in the morning when you get up ok." she said.

which i did.

but circumstances changed. 8am or earlier = fail.

cause i didn't want to wake my dad up so early JUST for that lah. that would make me very unfilial lol :p .. so i let him wake up of his own accord. and told est to continue sleeping hehe

...

and when she finally got up, she called and told me should we change our plans instead .. go TS pergi shopping instead. cos dah super late and the 200 ppl will surely be queuing up there alreadeh. boo. but i weel not take no for an answer, not yet. we shall remain optimists. until we see the line for ourselves then baru we cabut to TS okay.

SO. long story short, i reached MV at 10.50. sampai centre court but there was no line wor. WTB HMM SURE ANOT AM I AT THE WRONG PLACE?? LEMME CHECK WIF COUNTER PPLS. "erm, excuse me, can i ask, is kris allen going to be here later?" "yes *smiles*" .. srslyyy O.o .. then i spotted this group somewhere near the stage, all with kris's CDs in hand, looking really stoked. there were only around 5-6 of them and that was it. THANK GOD. meanwhile, est parked her car and i ran to rock corner to get her the album.

it was 11+ when we actually got in queue. yea, that was when there was actually a line. we happened to be about 12 ppl from the front (but as the day went on, we were pushed to no. 22 and 23 cause some of the ppl in front of us had friends who only came later .. not that we had a problem wif that though, it's all cool~, we're all cool~ .. as long as we still get to see kris, it's ALL good :D)

and so the journey began. lol. we made a couple of new friends (YAYYY) and all of us will totally go for his concert if he comes back for one in the future hehe (*prays*).

checking to see if she has any receipts to ask him to sign on xD

OWH LOOK, it's GREEN! LIME GREEN :DDD

lovely debra! she dressed up so prettily just for him! aww : )

owh! and she and her friend got kris this really awesome dog tag necklace with an engraving of him on it ... WIN. i bet it was the best present among everyone else's : )

setting up the barricades

*looks on dreamily*~

ran to the flower shop downstairs to get this red rose LOL
and i got to give it to him hehehe <33333

(vase life: 5 days haha)

esther found the bible verse : )

we're going to ~~hollywood~~ see kris allen!!! haha

she bumped into a friend of hers, neeshantin i tink?

the queue building up .. all the 200 golden tickets were snapped up shortly after ;p

sekuriti mali jaga

gotta give these guys props for uhm, cutting class xD
(guess we would've done the same .. i mean, it's KRIS ALLENNNN)

and, the dude on the left brought his guitar (it was a SEXAY RED GUITAR OMG 8D) for kris to sign!!! how cool is thatttt

(yea, but sekuriti tak bagi at the end .. ish, kacau)

T minus 45 minutes. okeh, let's waste our time wisely~

T minus 30 minutes. "ok everybody, pose!"

T minus 10 minutes.

T minus 30 secondssssss!!! JJ and Ean WOOOO!!!

"ladies and gentlemen, looks like we gotta cut this short cause KRIS ALLEN IS IN DA HOUSE!!!!"

and loud screaming ensues ...

***

****

*****

******

*******

T MINUS ZERO OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

waving to fans on the upper floors

was too busy oggling at him to take anymore pics after that :p

esther has some pretty good shots of him though :D

WE LOVE YOU KRIS

i really hope he comes back to KL for a concert : )

the overview :p

2010-02-09T18:23:00.000+08:00

dear blog, (HAHAHAHAH)

yesterday, on the 8th of february 2010 at 6pm, i saw kris allen.

i got his autograph :)))

my dear sweet, esther jessica kissed him (shawnee jealous maut)

but! i am happy nonetheless (and for you too, of course, est :p)

and. i annoyed the hell outta the 34571209582310592302385 ppl whom i raved to after that.

hehe

OMGGUH SUDAH LEWAT LEH

2010-02-08T08:36:00.001+08:00

hellohello

time: 8.34

how to get autograph if laike dis

AUGH NUUUUUUUUUUU

of cryptic words and volatile thoughts.

2010-02-07T23:53:00.006+08:00

exactly. because of the attention or what? hmm ...

"adapts to changes fairly well" .. (yea, right, guess not afterall huh)

sigh, where is my great escape?

"it's like one step forwards, and two steps to the back,
it's like trying to turn around on a one way street"

"life's like an hourglass glued to the table"

lady antebellum is nice! :D

2010-01-31T13:06:00.006+08:00

Meanwhile I'll hide my head

Here in this paper bag

Cause if I can't see you

Then you can't see me

And it'll be okay

be thirsty no more.

2010-01-31T11:16:00.000+08:00

i was told to say

HELLO WORLD.

I HEARD KRIS ALLEN IS GONNA BE COMING TO KL ON THE 8TH OF FEBRUARY DUNNO HOW TRUE BUT AM HOPING HE REALLY DOES COME!!! SQUEALS

2010-01-30T06:06:00.000+08:00

hahaha i would like to think that you sent me those just in case if your computer crashes and
you've lost all your data . . . that i will be having them and so, i'll be your freaking lifesaverrrr

HAHAHA

funnehhhhhhh

*syok sendiri* (is there a word for it in english???)

ANYWAYS,

the file is taking FOREVER to upload . . . MMMMRRFFF

and that's the way it is.

2010-01-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

Ko, you wanna bathe first or what? (doesn't wait for an anwer) I bathe first lah.

hehehehe

i love you, Ko.

really?

2010-01-29T19:29:00.000+08:00

i'm not being coy :p

hehehe

hahaha

i'm not!

really!

:p

240110

2010-01-27T19:39:00.006+08:00

We are,
Yeah I said it,
We are,
This is Roc Nation,
Pledge your allegiance,
Get y'all black tees on,
All black everything,
Black cards, black cars,
All black everything

hehe :D

i wish i were a sunflower.

2010-01-25T01:13:00.001+08:00

always so bright and sunny

destressinnnn

2010-01-22T02:17:00.002+08:00

Ain't got a care in the world, but got plenty of beer
Ain't got no money in ma pocket, but I'm already here
And now the dudes are linin' up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em' to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

:P

2010-01-20T16:56:00.004+08:00

"Each time I told my story, I lost a bit, the smallest drop of pain. It was that day that I knew I wanted to tell the story of my family. Because horror on Earth is real and it is every day. It is like a flower or like the sun; it cannot be contained."

— Alice Sebold (The Lovely Bones)

the things we do

2010-01-18T06:36:00.000+08:00

recently, i have taken up this (unhealthy) habit of going downstairs at ungodly hours, say 3 something in the morning to have something light to munch on. no thanks to my brother of course. everytime he's about to head downstairs for these little trips to the kitchen, he'll stick his head into my room and say "jom, mamak!"

and each time he does so far, i've been saying "okay, jom!" and before i know it, i'm downing good ol' cream crackers by the dozens ...

hmm. bad.

although. i wouldn't half as mind if i really had actual mamak food ;p

thosai, cheeseeee naannnnnn, i want yuu, i need yuu aughhhhhh

look what were they showing on star movies! hee

2010-01-18T05:51:00.010+08:00

if you haven't seen it before, then this says pretty much what the movie's all about:

Cameron Poe: They somehow managed to get every creep and freak in the universe onto this one plane. And then somehow managed to let them take it over. And then somehow managed to stick us right smack in the middle.

... haha yea, i saw this movie wayyyyy back when it first came out in '97 ... i was 7 or 8 i think, and i had always loved watching it since then x)

so yea anyways, when i saw it was up next on 413 (was watching Passengers before that...pretty good movie too), i was just ecstatic (well, first of all, i haven't seen it in a long while and i'm missing all that deep-seated action .. second of all, NICHOLAS CAGE!!!), so i instantly announced out loud to my whole house, "EH they showing con-air at 11.45!!!", to which my Mum replied, "Why? Your boyfriend ah?" (yessss 8D)

nicholas cage!!!!!! the yeng-ness x)

fav scenes:

Baby O: I got a bad feeling, son. I'm feeling like maybe I'm not supposed to make it.

Cameron Poe: You gonna make it.

Vince Larkin: [over radio] Cyrus Grissom, this is special agent Vince Larkin. We will shoot the plane down if you do not respond now.
Baby O: All I can think about is like... there ain't no God, like he don't exist.
[Poe gets up and starts walking away]
Baby O: Hey! Where you going?
Cameron Poe: I'm going to show you God does exist.

*

Cameron Poe: That gun work?
Vince Larkin: Yeah.
Cameron Poe: Then shoot that piece of shit!

*

Cameron Poe: If this goes bad, Larkin, I'm afraid my daughter won't understand. If you talk to my wife again, you tell her I love her. She's my hummingbird. But, I couldn't leave a fallen man behind. You'll do that for me, won't you, Larkin?
Vince Larkin: Sure, I will. What are you gonna do for me?
Cameron Poe: What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna save the fuckin' day!

*

Cameron Poe: Sorry boss, but there's only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other's not you.

*

Trisha: Hello Cameron
Cameron: Hello Hummingbird

awwwww~ yea, i like how he calls her that, think it's just so cute hehe : )

oh oh!! and gotta love that part where cameron slapped "sallycan'tdance", instead of punching him (or her) xDDD

mmhmm, i could watch it over and over again and never get tired x)

and now, i'm tryin to get my hands on face-off! another all-time fav .. nicholas cage vs. john travolta gahaha

don't ask. you already know the answer to it.

2010-01-15T02:00:00.000+08:00

it's like a dam, hours to breaking
like a bomb, minutes to detonating
like a runner, seconds to crossing the finishing line

but then you don't allow yourself to do it because you don't want to be perceived that way. because you fear, that once they see you like that ... just that one time and they'll take you to be that sort of person for always. and so, you don't. you keep it to yourself. you suck it all up. you hold it all in. so much so, you wonder if it is even humanly possible for someone to contain so much, to feel so much all at one time.

and so you tell them that you're fine, that everything will be okay. you reassure yourself that things will get better in time. but then guess who's tearing up right now?

and, that's just it, just because you don't show it, it doesn't mean you're the tin man. you do feel it. you just choose not to display it. cause doing that will sometimes mean exposing too much of your innerself. and that just will not do, because you need that extra layer and so, ppl presume otherwise. they think you're . . . invincible. that you're capable of pretty much everything. that if they were to throw all sorts of crap at you, you won't feel the slightest thing. which makes you feel shitty. as if, you need any more of that. because that isn't true at all. you're not all that invincible.

a friend's personal message now reads:

2010-01-13T19:57:00.003+08:00

"just a little faith, & things will get through =) "

see, it's optimism like this that gets you going sometimes. and so, i have learned. i have learned to feed on other ppl's optimism. that's the way i roll now baby ;p

i saw homeless to harvard on hallmark again today. and i drenched the pillows and sofa with my tears, again.

i saw it before when i was a lil younger but seeing it again now, at 19. it's different. liz murray was 15 when she became homeless. but she toiled, she worked hard. and in the end, she pulled through and made it to harvard. harvard!!!

ooh, and i also saw becoming jane! james mcavoy =3

image taken from ladama23.livejournal.com/

2010-01-12T19:29:00.003+08:00

i saw that message. i guess you'll never know. i guess it was nothing afterall.
i wish this damn river would just flow.

purpleeeeee

2010-01-11T17:08:00.001+08:00

is all i seeeeeeeeeee

hahaha

thank you sweejin :D :D :D

i don't know why i didn't see it there before : )

2010-01-10T04:37:00.004+08:00

i'm sure everyone has had this one time (or many perhaps) in their life, where they begin to take notice of something that has been right smack in front of their faces all this while. it's like, just this one fine day, something hits them on the head and they suddenly realise something that they had never stopped to think/look at twice before. i wouldn't actually call it, things that have been taken for granted lah, because that's not what it is. it's not like the person took wtv it was for granted in the first place. it's not like he/she did not have any care for it at the beginning. it's just that, the person did not happen to seeee/hearrr it with their senses before; but then one day, their eyes and ears tinkered and decided to be a bit quicker and sharper on the picking up of the surroundings. and this something that they begin to realise is ironically, something that leaves a pretty huge impact on them. it could be anything lah. something that someone has been saying all this time and which merely fell to ears that do not listen (not on purpose though) ... it could be, big things, like that papaya tree growing in your backyard which you swore you never saw before (okay, maybe exxagerating a lil here :p) ... it could be, the little things (which are needless to say, easily overlooked all the time), like those pretty butterflies in your garden (yea, i only noticed em that day, and i dunno about you, but there's something really zen-like about watching butterflies fluttering by ;D ... i have fallen in love with those graceful things recently hehe) ... it could be a sketch/painting/a piece of artwork ... it could be an individual ... it's not unlike reading ... once, twice, thrice and so on. you tend to get something different out of reading the same thing, be it a piece of article or a book. you learn something new each time. the first time you read, you've only just grazed the uppermost layer of it. of course, you do get the contents as a whole, but the second time you do, you get a larger part of the contents. delve in further into the core of it and you will find yourself noticing things that you never did at first read. so i was listening to my playlist earlier and i never knew the lyrics to this song of panic!'s, "when the day met the night" was actually pretty darn sweet, until just now haha

When the moon fell in love with the sun

All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night

When the sun found the moon
She was drinking tea in a garden
Under the green umbrella trees
In the middle of summer

When the moon found the sun
He looked like he was barely hanging on

But her eyes saved his life

In the middle of summer

In the middle of summer

All was golden in the sky

All was golden when the day met the night

Summer, all was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer
Golden when the day met the night

So he said, "Would it be all right
If we just sat and talked for a little while
If in exchange for your time, I give you this smile?"
So she said, "That's okay
As long as you can make a promise not to break my little heart
Or leave me all alone in the summer."

Well, he was just hanging around
Then he fell in love
And he didn't know how
But he couldn't get out
Just hanging around
Then he fell in love
In the middle of summer

All was golden in the sky

All was golden when the day met the night

Summer, all was golden in the sky

All was golden when the day met the night

: )

because keeping myself preoccupied

2010-01-10T03:11:00.001+08:00

is the only way to do it.

but as i write this pathetic resume of mine, i can't help but picture the person who will be reading it, going "i don't give a shit if you were the treasurer of the st john's ambulance of your school with the rank of corporal"

><

bleh

or maybe it's all that marine talk from avatar, rubbing off on me ;p
speaking of which, avatar was sosososososososososo good! the sfx were so awesome you can't help but just go OMGWARGHSOAWESOME at almost every scene . . . and i saw it in regular 2D so if that was already zomg-tastic, then imax 3D would just be . . .

but i digress.

so, yea, as i have told myself time and again, if keeping myself busy would help me to forget; then i will give everything i've got and just hope against all hope that i will get a job, any job, realreal soon . . . *crosses fingers*

2010-01-08T19:10:00.000+08:00

xin's masterpiece .. mwahahah x)

and you wish . . .

2010-01-07T14:42:00.003+08:00

. . . that time would just come to a standstill~

*

"We are walking down the street holding hands. There is a playground at the end of the block, and I run to the swings and I climb on and Henry takes the one next to me facing the opposite direction. And we swing higher and higher passing each other, sometimes in synch and sometimes streaming past each other so fast that it seems we are going to collide. And we laugh and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost or dead or far away. Right now we are here and nothing can mar our perfection or steal the joy of this perfect moment."
— Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Traveler's Wife)

: )

Jesus, Take the Wheel

2009-12-31T22:10:00.002+08:00

To see you again, I pray,
such longings to cross each others' way;
talks and laughters, what sweet exchange,
memories of moments, in my heart, remain.

When I see you again,
all clouds away,
the sun will shine and rainbows display;
springs of joy rise from within my heart,
new strength I have found to another beautiful start.

And I see you again,
I am blushed in pink, pleasant dreams, my nights do bring;
yet seasons come and seasons go,
what the future brings,
I do not know.

Will I see you again?
I thought to myself, or would there be, somebody else?
No promises, no assurance, nothing to keep,
oh, let this be unheard of, forever sleep.

Till I see you again, I pray I will,
I am letting Jesus to take the wheel;
Lord, keep us dear and keep us clean,
forever in our hearts, may Your purpose reigns.

(taken from somewhere i don't rmb anymore ><)

Here's to a blessed new beginning : )

Happy 2010~

XOXO,
Shawnee : )

concerning this.

before i lose this train of thought,

keri smith said this in his blog on the 17th;

i'm actually working on my c.v.

soooo

okay ask yourselves this:

it's already the 5th of january! *o*

to a certain someone

oh happy day

oh man

never thought of it that way, but oh yeah x)

i'm glad i helped :)

and then You come around

it feels like i've come to a

and then there are those

gets me everytime : )

from the lobby :D

o holy night, the stars are brightly shiiiining :D

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

okay, let's start packingggg! :D

so if you know me well enough,

and it all culminates in this

d o g s! =3

to everything that was :)

can someone please tell me who is the dude who said no to sharkfins soup on that natgeo commercial? he's a 10 fo sho :D

how can one not be moved

can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken!

when all that's left is You : )

i just had

my breakfast staple = cereal + milk

hello! i

just cause love is in the air~ : )

Kenny & Jien Ni's Wedding / The Night Reception :D

Kenny & Jien Ni's Wedding / Behind the Scenes: Door Gift in the Making :p

Kenny & Jien Ni's Wedding / The Morning Reception :D

Think: Unchained Melody, From This Moment, Endless Love~

But above all, this.

Psalm 56:3

But for this, I have Jesus.

traumatised

random picture of the moment:

we loves you muchos!!!

phone conversations

i like listening to songs of languages

and then there were 3 :(

just cause Déjà vus are weird like that

somewhere in between.

thank you God! i love you so much! :)))

sometimes i wish i had a pensieve

could not have agreed more to this

double whammy

i was singing Negaraku to myself in class today

tell me what you want to hearrrrrr

hello,

it would be nice to own one though :)

double post just because

a little selflessness goes a long way.

it takes a thief

THIS IS JUST

i've always found

it's funny how

oh surprise surprise

hi, i am shawnee the hedgehog.

expectation(s)

RAWR DAMNIT RAWR

also,

I

sigh, when will the questions stop coming?

Camera + Yee Yee's house compound + Nice sunny day + Nothing better to do = THIS :D

CNY 2010 at a glance : )

just found out something

65% done!

the other day, my bro and i were having a conversation about something and he had this to say to me:

WHAT THE HELL

I

key features/analysis/synthesis OH WTH .. this is about seeing kris allen IN DETAIL haha :D :D :D

the overview :p

OMGGUH SUDAH LEWAT LEH

of cryptic words and volatile thoughts.

be thirsty no more.

it's already the 5th of january! o

I HEARD KRIS ALLEN IS GONNA BE COMING TO KL ON THE 8TH OF FEBRUARY DUNNO HOW TRUE BUT AM HOPING HE REALLY DOES COME!!! SQUEALS