to a certain someone

hey, in case you didn't realise, i've always been the one who stood by your side throughout that period of time.

people would say you're one hard person to deal with.
they ask me why am i even friends with you.
how can i possibly stand you.

but i'd say, well, everyone's different right? i'd stand up for you okay. cause to me; every. one. matters. and i hold strongly to that. cause every one deserves to be loved. everyone deserves to be cared for.

and i cannot believe you said all that just because i told you i can't do it.

i'm really busy now okay. it's not like you're less important. but i've been wanting this so incredibly badly and i really need to focus on this right now. so, this comes first. it is, what i'll be doing for the next couple of years afterall. i thought you'd understand.

i thought i could change those people's perception of you. i thought i could turn you into someone whom people would love being around. i thought xxx had it wrong about you. i told them i could change you for the better. i really convinced myself into thinking i really could. especially at that one point when i asked you to come follow me every sunday and you considered the idea but it was just that you might have transport problems. but after all you said, i don't think i wanna try anymore. i feel like i'm just fighting for a lost cause here. i didn't think i was gonna say this, but i guess they were right all along.

sigh.