before i lose this train of thought,

i think i ought to put it down in black and white.

Philippians 4: 6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present

your requests to God. And the peace of God, which

transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts

and minds in Christ Jesus.

He has the most curious of ways of making Himself known.

We were at this boutique waiting for our turn to try on some clothes at the fitting room area. I glanced around and I spotted a sticker pasted at the corner of one of the doors with the above verse. The whole room just lit up and I felt that familiar sense of serenity that comes every time I am deep in worship and prayer. And all at the same time, I was hoping with all hopes that her eyes would chance upon it as well for something had been bothering her the last couple of days and I thought that she really could use those words of comfort then. Of course I could tell her about it myself but I think sometimes, you need to find it on your own . . . you need that touch of serendipity, which makes it feel real . . .

I learned that it is not something that can be inherited anymore.
You need to seek and understand for yourself.

. . . and out of the corner of my eye, I saw where hers fell and I smiled.

*oh yeah, i've reopened my blog  . . . after an 11month hiatus (!)
let's see how long this will last.

xx

keri smith said this in his blog on the 17th;

"Today I want to be an animal and run wildly in and out of the woods, stopping only to take a drink and the occasional nap."

i feel the same way :)

(see here)

i'm actually working on my c.v.

but i heard this conversation going on in the living room and had to laugh out loud:

Mum: Did you hang the clothes?
Dad: Yeah, while you were sleeping.

Okay, I dunno if it makes sense to you. Prolly doesn't; but if you've been living with my family long enough, you'd understand the way things work with the Khoo's :p

oh, and i was the one who's supposed to help out with the hanging; hee, sorry D! x)and David Garett is a musical genius. Clair de lune ohsonice :)

am reading Into The Wild now. Chris McCandless i have so much respect for you. reminds me of thomas wilson and the bay of naples.

wants to have lots and lots of mamak food :))) who wants to join me? :D

kevjumba is really good at what he does. i like the vids he did with his dad :) .. i like how they laugh together like old friends x)

switchfoot's yet is playing now. thankyou playlist, for behaving like a good playlist should.

i wanna see ross' magic tricks! i wanna kantoi-kan him again lol.

miss jeanetta is reallyreally nice and cute. i was stamping my certs (fully concentrated on making sure that i stamp them correctly cause there was a special stamp for certified true copy and another separate one for the translated certs, speaking of which was sucha pain i tell you i have never done anything so tedious since, *thinks* , hmm nvm) when she took out this bottle of lotion from her drawer and exclaimed how it was so dry and asked me if i wanted some :p .. then she said how she would like to have a fountain in her room if it were larger LOL x) .. and when i handed her my pendrive to print something, she said the yellow tortoise keychain looks so cute and then proceeded to tell me about these pair of handphone decorations which she got from watsons which costed her 4.90 so that makes it abt 2.50 each and she takes them out from that magical drawer of hers and shows it to me and i saw winnie the pooh smiling at me. i then said, "oh, that's nice, you can give it away as a Christmas present :)" and she said yeah. and why am i writing such a detailed account of this i do not know.

i do know however that i love all my lecturers. thank you miss tan and miss salina for giving me such awesome recommendation letters :))) .. let's have a reunion makan one day. and let it be at bestari please so i can feast my eyes nose mouth on their delectable selection of mamak food. yessum.

i think i will need glasses soon. no thanks to staring at mr computer screen for hours on end for so many consecutive days.

apparently cousin sweejin will be preparing a lovely dinner at my uncle's place tmr but i will not be there sigh. i will instead be at a bbq gathering at a mr kentheman1's hse :D .. so i told my mum, can they postpone it to sunday haha just being a brat like that although i know perfectly well things like that do not happen as i am merely shawnee. a while later she turned up in my room with my uncle on the line and i was told to speak what i had in mind x) .. i thought she was kidding :p .. my uncle said he will come back to us again hehe.

and now coldplay is asking me to talk. ah, it is no wonder i can't stop writing :)

well, i think i've got a lot of things on my mind because i have not been talking to anyone properly for days now so my head is filled with all these little thoughts. and because my outlet is all the way in nottingham. haha yes, my brother, my outlet. i would usually pour out these nonsensical things to him now and then when he was still home. but now, i have to settle for these electronic things. and it doesn't give feedbacks. no "hahaha" or "lame lah you" or "canyouplsshutupandgobacktoyourroom". haha, okay, scratch the shut up bit. my brother has never told me to shut up before :) <3

omgosh, john legend is playing now EEEE. yes we are all ordinary people. i love you today, playlist. but only today : )

ohkay my dad just came in to tell me how to improve this letter of mine. time to go back to work :)

lotsa love to all of you :)

soooo

i have just deleted my old xanga :p

out of shame, i would say? to think, i wrote all those stuff.

i was one heck of a hormonally-charged teenager who could throw a hissy fit alright. tsk tsk.

and would prolly leave blogspot in search of "greener pastures" as well :p

lotsa love!

okay ask yourselves this:

do you actually take the effort to make an impression on people you've only met for the first time?

or do you just be yourself, like in the raw? a slob like no other.

it's already the 5th of january! *o*

augh the last post was so . . . distasteful. i feel so much better now though :) .. it's always good to vent your frustration, whether on pen and paper, verbally, or whatnots.
okay, and but maybe i won't stop trying. cause everyone deserves a second chance, right?

see. yea. i don't know why i just can't stay mad at people. well, i just don't like the whole tension between us thing. just doesn't feel right.

but we'll see about that. who knows, one day. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

on another note, i have successfully digitalised all my certs!!! well, by digitalised, i merely mean, scanning them certs into my computer. it was crazymemafankan but hey, now i've got soft copies of them which is goooood :D

i actually do not know why i have tags for my posts. all of them are filled with random jazz sometimes i do not even know how to tag them.

orite, pictures from hanoi in the upcoming posts :)

xx

to a certain someone

hey, in case you didn't realise, i've always been the one who stood by your side throughout that period of time.

people would say you're one hard person to deal with.
they ask me why am i even friends with you.
how can i possibly stand you.

but i'd say, well, everyone's different right? i'd stand up for you okay. cause to me; every. one. matters. and i hold strongly to that. cause every one deserves to be loved. everyone deserves to be cared for.

and i cannot believe you said all that just because i told you i can't do it.

i'm really busy now okay. it's not like you're less important. but i've been wanting this so incredibly badly and i really need to focus on this right now. so, this comes first. it is, what i'll be doing for the next couple of years afterall. i thought you'd understand.

i thought i could change those people's perception of you. i thought i could turn you into someone whom people would love being around. i thought xxx had it wrong about you. i told them i could change you for the better. i really convinced myself into thinking i really could. especially at that one point when i asked you to come follow me every sunday and you considered the idea but it was just that you might have transport problems. but after all you said, i don't think i wanna try anymore. i feel like i'm just fighting for a lost cause here. i didn't think i was gonna say this, but i guess they were right all along.

sigh.

oh happy day

i wish i got to know someone a little better . . . then again, i wish i got to know a lot of people a little better . . . like, to be more than just nodding acquaintances?

facebook has turned me into a lean, mean, stalking machine. well, scratch the lean part. i've been as lethargic as lethargic can be. ugh.

would love to see orcas in real life one day :)

realise i do not like to cross roads alone. can be pretty frightening at times.

i hunger and thirst for you, Lord.

have you ever witnessed a miracle?

wants to go to san francisco again in the future. i love the winding roads :)

will have to stuff myself with lots of thosai in the days to come. and cheese naan. and roti canai. and nasi lemak and OMGOSH pan mee!!! and currypuffs :D

CNY is on its way.

disliked how some places were already blasting CNY songs and it had only been a day past Christmas. what is this. *tak puas* .. give Christmas a chance please.

i got a green clear file holder thing and just filled it with my certs :D *feels organised*

xx

oh man

feels like i'm having some sort of hangover.

not that i actually know what that's like

but from what i've heard, sounds like i'm having one right now

*massive headache*

never thought of it that way, but oh yeah x)

kumer says (1:26 AM):

2015
we'll see a shawnee capable of doing drugs...legally
=)

*

Natasha says (1:16 AM):
so you have a date with your university XD
no offer letters yet xD
I think curtin's next week?
the letters I mean


i'm impossible! says (1:19 AM):
ooh i ady had the date xD
it was naise : )
ooh curtin;s yea..i got an email from them saying the rep will be in the coll nxt week i tink?


Natasha says (1:20 AM):
date as in valentine's day date
xD


i'm impossible! says (1:20 AM):
OWHH
LOOL
YAHHH
how romantic~
x)


Natasha says (1:20 AM):
xD
the start of a long relationship
xD


i'm impossible! says (1:21 AM):
yessum : )
i like how our first date will be on v-day :D
ehehehe :3




too bad it's only gonna last for 4 years :p

i'm glad i helped :)

http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/Home/

and then You come around

and bring everything back into perspective.

you are truly, an awesome God :)

it feels like i've come to a

i really could use somebody to tell me i am being very stupid right now.

okay, time to make mum angry.

xx

and then there are those

who don't really mingle with some people just cause they're not good-looking enough.
or not smart enough.

or not knowledgeable enough.
or not rich enough.
or can't speak their type of English.

tell me, what kind of bullsh is this?

oh i know your type. it's all about "networking" in your world. rubbing shoulders and all that.

well, if that's all you ever think about, then i pity who you are. sure, you may tower above the masses in some terms but morally, ethically, you are like the rotting carcasses in the desert. i loathe you, with every fiber of my being.

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - Marcel Proust.

that could be me. once upon a time ;p

gets me everytime : )

retrieved from: *here* 


 
Allie: You’re different.
Noah: What do you mean?
Allie: Just the way you look. Everything.
Noah: You look different too, but in a good way.
Allie: You know, you’re kinda the same though.
Noah: Yeah?
Allie: Yeah. And you really did it.
Noah: What?
Allie: Everything. The house. it’s beautiful what you did.
Noah: Well, I promised you I would.

The Notebook.loveeethemovie :3

from the lobby :D

just went to makan at this place
and when we wanted to foot the bill, we checked the stuff lah mcam biasa like we always do, just to make sure before we pay, like how much is for what and so on ..

then the waiter was like, "are you from malaysia?"

us: yea, how'd you know!

waiter: because only the malaysians will check and recheck the bill

LMAO! x)

and then, when we were on the way back to the hotel, we saw this man riding a motorcycle with his kid (about 3-4 years old) at the back clutching on to him (oh, btw, the people here HONK like nobody's business! but it's funny in a way xD) .. and so our taxi driver actually winded down the car window and told the man to take care of his son lest he falls off :s

so sweet of him ya? :)

also, people here eat dog meat x.x

o holy night, the stars are brightly shiiiining :D

so like, my mum's friend's supposed to be picking us up at 3.30am

it is now 2.o3am.

yeeaah i knew this would happen.

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

"it is the East, and Juliet is the sun."

*

i think everyone would have that little ray of sunshine that was everything to them at some point in their life. but these rays of light only shine upon your path for only a brief moment. like the setting of the sun. because for that brief moment, you could see where you were going. you knew where you were headed. it illuminated the path that you would take. not unlike how a torch would guide you in a cave or a tunnel. it only shows a little distance from where you are. not the entire way ahead.

and yet, it made all the difference.

that ray of sunshine is probably what made them the who that they are today.
it is what moulded them into the person that they would become.

okay, let's start packingggg! :D

mum: what medicine should we bring along ah?

sn: the usual lah, flu, sorethroat, panadol ...

dad: bring the one for food poisoning

x)

so if you know me well enough,

you'll know that when something nice happens or when an interesting thought comes to mind, i like writing it out in a text message and i'd save it in the drafts folder in my phone so i can always look back and smile about it.

so these are among the things i had saved a few months ago:
Went to the "Placement Centaur" with Tasha today cause she wanted to enquire about the University of Toronto. The pictures were just b-e-a-utiful :) .. "It's like HOGWARTS", Natasha said, as we were perusing the brochures. "And this could be the Astronomy Tower *points*" :D


St. George's Campus, University of Toronto

I LOVE PLACES LIKE THAT. OLD MEDIEVAL BUILDINGS, CHURCH, CATHEDRALS ...


was looking through the pictures jijian took in cambridge. gorgeoussss
what do they call it, gothic architecture, renaissance architecture?


Taken from here. This is the Milan Cathedral of Lombardy, Italy. (Duomo di Milano in Italian) Isn't it magnificentttt :D It took 5 centuries to complete, that's 500 years!


Pretty :)

*


We were doing our work when Jenny pointed out these two guys hitting the floor in one of the empty IB classrooms. We could only see from their knees and below cause above that, the glass enclosing the class was not transparent. They were some awesome moves really. Shuffling and breakdancing >D. You know, I'm not much good at a lot of things but I can tell you, that I am one who knows how to appreciate the arts. Dance, ballet, piano, guitar, violin, plays, theatre ... I just loveeee all that :)

MPO, anyone? :D

and it all culminates in this

once upon time there was a girl.

one day, for the first time in her life, she was terrified after she found out someone had been stalking her.

every few hours a day, the phone would ring.
she'd pick it up and upon hearing the same voice, "Hello?", she'd put the receiver back down without a word.

it went on for a week or two.

and then one day, when the phone rang once again, she told her mother that she was afraid of answering it and told her to do so instead.

her mother answered and politely said, "oh? she doesn't really want to talk to you cause she doesn't quite know you" or something along those lines.

a pause.

and she said, "alright, okay, bye" and then she hung up.

meanwhile, her daughter had been behind her, listening nervously the whole time, shifting her weight from one foot to another.

the mother turned to her and said, "you must've been giggling a lot in class i should think."

and the girl said, "no, i most certainly was not."

the mother replied, "well then, why else would someone you do not know decide to call you up all of a sudden."
the girl said nothing further but retreated to her room and pondered about what had just happened.
since that very fateful incident, the girl became rather afraid of the Y chromosome.

notwithstanding the fact that she has a brother.

from that day onwards, the girl found herself unable to talk to those with the said chromosome.

she was, if you will, shy.

of course, there were a handful of those of whom she had been able to converse with more often than others. there were a selected few of whom she was closer compared to others.

and yet the fear still lingered.

then she graduated from high school and moved on to another school where she would be part of a group of friends who like to refer themselves as the fresh water dogs or fwd, in short. this girl was the fictitious drummer of a fictitious band which had fans who screamed fwd or "chao sui kou" and waved posters and signs of fried water dogs made of polystyrene.
at the beginning, she was still rather afraid of the XY's. it didn't help that her pre-university place of study was a teeming sea of population of XY's. the XX were a minority this time round. they were like little black spots of Artline pens on the vast whiteness of paper or whiteboard.


as the days went by though, the girl somehow lost a little bit of that unusual fear of hers with each passing day. slowly, but surely, she regains her confidence.


by the end of her pre-university days, she would be completely void of this fear of hers.

*

It’s funny how you get thrusted into the strangest of situations and you had never even saw it coming your way. I enrolled in SAM with the sole aim of just doing it right this time. I didn’t want much of a social life. In fact, I specifically remembered telling a friend that I would be an anti-social throughout the whole course. Some things just don’t go according to plan.


Somewhere along the way, I became friends with 3 awesome guys. One of them whom I had been acquainted to before, but I guess I probably only got to know him better throughout the past 8 months. I got along rather well with the 3 of them; well, better than any of the others in class I guess? Most of my classmates were in cliques who preferred conversing in Mandarin and Cantonese and obviously, I fail in that department. Though, I think I’ve picked up quite a lot of Mandarin along the way (Thanks to WernWern and the two Pui’s :D). And so, there began a friendship between 3 guys and a girl (see, I’m admitting I’m a girl now! Ahem, inside joke with the 3 of them :p). It’s weird, because I’ve always been closer with the girls all my life. Save kindergarten, it had been like that all the way from primary school up till Form 6. Yeah, funny in a way, considering I have no biological sisters but only the best big brother ever! :D. And these 3 guys have all only got brothers and NO SISTERS as well. It gets funnier. Kennet is the eldest among his 3 brothers and, Jenny’s the middle among his 3 brothers and Karthik is the youngest among his 3 brothers.

Naturally, as we go our separate ways, we wouldn’t be as close as we used to be. I don’t know about you, but it’s fairly normal for me actually. People come and people go. But we leave our footsteps behind. And sure, we will still be friends. We’ll still be able to talk. But just not as often as we used to of course. We’re The Brudders! :) and we always will be.

Karthik, if you’re reading this, please don’t emo. That goes for you too, Jenny. The 2 of them have the largest capacity for getting all worked up about stuff like this. Kennet and I would be the ones standing by saying, “Ala, it’s okay wan lah. We’ll still keep in touch mah.”


And you have my word on that :)

(note: btw, there's more to the stalker story than just that as i had written. that's the summarised version :p and it may not sound like a big deal but back then it was a rather perplexing matter for a 13 year old lol. and! there was another guy actually. who i am pretty sure hates me to the ends of the earth now cause i responded in a less than polite manner when he had asked for my number haha. that's all ;p)

d o g s! =3

When I was small (okay if I were given a penny for each time I begin like this, I'd be rich .. but let's not get to that) .. so everytime my parents decided to go grocery-shopping, the first place I'd head over to was always the Pet's area. I'd be fascinated by the toy bones or whatever they're called for dogs to chew on, the various types of dog chow, the shampoos and whatnots. And after doing a quick scan, I'd make a mental note that okay that's the leash or collar I would get if I had a dog. And it would be called Rusty or Ruffles or Rustyruff :D

And it was the same with bookstores. My Mum even got me these two books on dogs and I would take them out and look at them over and over again. Ofcourse, the Collies (cause of Lassie haha), Rottweilers, Great Danes (Scooby Doo :D), Golden Retrievers, Labradors, Dobermans, Salukis  and King Charles Spaniels were the ones I had always dreamed of having :p

Also, everytime we passed by a house with a "Beware of dog" sign, I'd point it out to my Dad and then approach the gate and attempt to get a peek at the supposed dog.

I still remember, there was this one time my parents took us to this pet shop. And the owners had this black and white Papillon. French for butterfly, cause of the hair around the ears I still recall. We were SO close to getting one. But alas, a dog was not to be had.


'Tis a papillon! :D

Oh, and! There was this another time when my Mum saw this picture of a mixed-breed doggie in the Malay Mail. They have this section in the Kid's Column or something where they would advertise dogs from the SPCA and PAWS every Sunday so if people are interested, they can actually head over to the shelter and adopt them. So my Mum saw it and thought it looked really adorable. We called the SPCA up and just as well, someone else had already rang up and adopted it :(

If any of you really do want to get a pet, I would like to kindly ask of you to get them from shelter homes. It's the least we can do to help them out ya know. (well, in Malaysia especially :S)

to everything that was :)

Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life with you
Long, long live the walls we crashed through
All the candlelight shined just for me and you
And I was screaming, "long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders
I'm not afraid
Singing long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life
Fighting dragons with you
And long, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day we will be remembered


(Taylor Swift's Long Liveeeee)


idon'tcarewhatchoosayilovetayswift


:)

can someone please tell me who is the dude who said no to sharkfins soup on that natgeo commercial? he's a 10 fo sho :D

i always like to have gingerbread man around this time of the year. it's something of a tradition for me. and i would always think of the gingerbread man story whenever i bite into it. today, i went to cold storage looking for it cause they always have pretty decent ones. i wouldn't say they're the best cause it's not all that good. i am still on a quest to hunt for the best damn gingebread man. and if you do know of any, then feel free to share it with me :D

so, i've been having moral studies for the past week. and initially, i was really bummed about having to attend classes after our finals were over. and these are LAN moral lessons we're talking about. and after hearing so many of my friends who've been through these classes at their respective colleges and universities (it was nightmares for them), i thought, hmm, just as well. and then i attended my first moral lesson last tuesday and it was nothing close to being a nightmare. i absolutely enjoyed every minute of it. and come to think of it, religion is a very interesting topic indeed. miss renuga, you're such an inspiration. you don't call them autistic children; rather autism children, she had said. her passion's for children with special needs and she's currently doing her masters in UM in something (i forgotten :p) related to it. i've said it once and i'll say it again, teachers who incorporate life lessons in their classrooms are truly superheroes. ah, if every teacher in the world were like that. and i have to agree with what Lao-Tzu had to say too;

"Stop thinking, and end your problems."
spot on.

i want to read tao-te-ching! :)

also, the scorpion story,

The Nature of Things

Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell in. The monk saved the scorpion and was again stung.
The other monk asked him, "Friend, why do you continue to save the scorpion when you know it's nature is to sting?"

"Because," the monk replied, "to save it is my nature."


and today, she played the emperor's club in class! :D we were getting to the best part but had to leave halfway thru. i will write about it once i've seen the whole thing.

(oh! oh! tammy wynette's stand by your man is playing now WHEEEE :D)

haha anyways,

the other day, while we were all waiting in the lobby, ross (THE MAGICIAN!!! :D) performed this simple card trick of his. it just involved the four aces and we were supposed to choose one of it and he'd be able to identify the one we had chosen. so it worked on sonam and jenny and then i told him to try it on me. and i totally pwned him. i was being downright brash about it cause it was the first time i'd seen him not managing to pull it off. and then he tried a second time and i got him again. i *think* i figured out the trick behind it t'is why :p .. so i kept prancing around, squealing with delight, along with the others that he'd failed (felt pretty bad about it afterward). then comes this guy (who knows ross) who had been watching all along and he quoted thomas edison, saying it's not a failure, it's just 2 ways that don't work. and i felt silly after that. all in good fun though, we certainly never meant any form of insult whatsoever to our dear ross (WE LOVE YOU ROSS :D). he's our friendly college magician and the only magician i know :D

we helped decorate kennet's christmas tree the other day. it's crazy tall! and just as crazy loads of decorations. and all that lights. and he has a wreath for his front door too! how nice no? :D and his golden retriever's a darl <3 and i helped myself to a whole lotta nuggets that day too! i can't rmb the last time i had nuggets like those, so i kept going at it, it was so goooodd

did i mention i just loveeeeeeee this time of the year??? :)))

xx